The Blog Post That Almost Never Was!

I came this close to forgoing my blog for the evening.

Killercon wore me down. I had a nice day teaching. The kids were well-behaved and receptive to the opening strains of THE ODYSSEY. But when I got home from my weekly blood work session (for tomorrow’s chemo session – ugh), I crashed out.

When I woke up an hour or so later, I felt like I had been run over by a semi. Every square inch of my body ached. I was covered with sweat. My feet and hands tingled. This is all typical cancer / chemo side effect crap. I’m sort of used to it (not really). Except, lately, when I wake from a short nap (not a full night’s sleep, but tiny cat naps), I experience all of these torturous little pangs at full volume.

Internal screaming commences. Oh yeah, it sucks.

Alas, like all things, it passes…

Like now.

The aches are merely murmuring. They’re speaking in tongues (the language of warring biology) and keeping to themselves.

So here I am blogging away and feeling fair. All is well. But…my heart’s really not in it, you know?

That’s the whole writer thing in a nutshell, I guess. Coming up with an exciting narrative takes heart and passion and an OCD-quality level of discipline. If things aren’t firing properly, nothing gets done. Words become frustrating.

Wait.

That’s not necessarily true.

In fact, I take it all back.

I’ve gotten plenty of solid writing done in less than enthused states of being. I’ve laid foundations despite fatigue or ho-hum clicky-clackery. I’ve written entire drafts on the edge. This is all well and good, but then, that sort of writing never actually sees the light of day. It has to go through the bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, eager, eager, eager, Ready-To-Write, Ready-To-Revise version of me first.

Well look at that, Loyal Reader?

This lackluster blog about temporal agonies, has blossomed into some nice writer’s insight, huh?

That’s another thing with writing. Sometimes, all I need to do is just get to it. As my fingers find their ghostly rhythms and my brain starts working without me, I usually find my groove. Stuff starts to make sense and take on a life of its own. Themes solidify. Purpose becomes apparent.

And that is why I know I am meant to do this – I have to do this – I can’t not do this!


(Fighting the good fight!)

If you write, none of this is ground-breaking information. We all have bad days and we all write tired, and sick, and hung-over (if that’s your thing), and uninterested, and dizzy, but still, we write. Still, we engage the beast and hope for the best. I suppose that’s what separates the wheat from the chaff. If taking a day off from the written word is absolutely unthinkable then you’re definitely one of us.

Remember – we are not crazy. Though the impulse to get writing even though writing is the last thing you want to do can be maddening, there is nothing wrong with us. We’re just driven (and in most cases, possessed by something deep inside that simply will not SHUT THE HELL UP).

Recognize, Loyal Reader – as down as we get, it’s important to understand that it’s okay to suffer a bit for your art. Suffering and art go hand in hand.

Okay then, your turn. Get writing!

 

 

This is totally random with regard to the context of this post, but hey, it makes me smile. Maybe it’ll make you smile too…
(not sure who is who or what is what, but someone has some fun with a homemade video for Ween’s awesome Ocean Man)

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4 Responses to “The Blog Post That Almost Never Was!”

  1. Thanks for posting when you didn’t feel like it. I like the insight you give on writing, it’s nice to get a glimpse of what’s going on behind the scenes. I heard somebody say once that a large part of writing is staring at a blank screen, do you find that to be the case? Anyway, keep posting….your blog when you’re weak and not feeling it is better than others at full strength.

  2. Thanks.

    Yep. Lots of staring. Still, when the writing takes over it usually doesn’t stop. I could go on and on. Fortunately, much more time is spent writing than staring.

  3. I had a feeling you’d say that. I don’t picture you staring at blank screens very often.

  4. So, Jobee, you still playing guitar? You were the BEST guitar player I ever worked with in my short, but illustrious music career. How are you releasing your creative muse these days?

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