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Reunited and it feels so… good?

Posted in Books, Love, News, Rants, Raves on August 3, 2012 by Michael Louis Calvillo

I am a terribly sentimental person. Maudlin, in fact. I admit to having a very self-indulgent attachment to most everything! I probably have movie stubs of every movie Michael and I ever went to since the day we met. I’m bad. I mean, really, really bad. Seriously. If there’s a popcorn kernel lodged at the bottom of my purse, I sit and wonder if it was from a movie that had significant meaning… Better hang on to it just in case, right?

Michael, on the other hand, was not sentimental. He was a very simple man in a lot of ways. He loved music, videogames, books, and movies but never felt the need to hoard the physical casings of any of it. Well, he did collect books… But, if a friend or family member showed the slightest interest in any of the above… Yours! He simply didn’t hang on to many material items. Don’t get me wrong. He saved certain mementos. In fact, just last month I found a restaurant napkin tucked into one of his shoe boxes that I wrote a love message to him on.

Ouch. Love hurts.

Strangely, he also held sentimental value on a pressure washer and an old tripod that his father gave him. (Some of you already know that Michael’s father, “Daddy-o,” suddenly passed away just one day before Michael received his ~~cancer~~ diagnosis.) The pressure washer was a gift from Daddy-o when we bought our first home. Michael used it maybe once? The tripod was very old. We’re talkin’ old-old. I thought, “We have two tripods here. One is very old. The other new.” Seemed simple which one to get rid of but since the old one belonged to Michael, I asked him out of respect whether we should bid farewell to the old rusty tripod. He told me Daddy-o gave him that tripod in his youth and he used it to create videos from his band days. Alas, we have two tripods. One old. One new. These were the only two things I can recall him asking me to hang on to when we were packing up to move out of our home last year while he was sick. (Oh, there were also two buckets of weird orphan wires and cables he refused to part with… don’t ask! I didn’t.)

Snakes? I hate snakes!

Anyhow, some time last year, Michael’s 20 Year High School Reunion was announced. Michael was invited to a “VVHS 1992 High School Reunion” group on Facebook. He silently poked around the group reading the announcements and statuses people posted. One thing Michael found interesting was the amount of alumni that had passed. We’re talking at least 10? I don’t know. That might not seem like a lot to you but when you’re talking about people your age that you used to know… It just didn’t seem normal. Michael read the “In Memoriams” to me… various cancers, random illnesses, suicides, MURDER!? C’mon, the Class of ’92 are only in their late 30s! As he was reading them to me, we had one of those brief “Elephant in the Room” moments. Neither of us said a word about what Michael was personally battling. It didn’t matter. He wasn’t going to be one of “them.” But honestly, if Stage IV ~~Cancer~~ didn’t make you hyper-aware of your own impending mortality, seeing that list certainly made it clearer. ~~Cancer~~ or not, you have to come to terms that life is quite random and we are not guaranteed tomorrow no matter what your current health status is.

My dear husband mentioned the reunion to me again in early February and pondered whether he wanted to attend or not. The organizers had chosen Las Vegas as the reunion spot. I suppose they all thought it’d be more fun to meet in Sin City rather than the “humble small town” we grew up in. In any case, we talked about possibly attending. We both thought it would be fun to get away to Las Vegas and catch up with some old classmates. (Michael and I both attended the same High School, although he was a grade level higher than me and we were not in each other’s social groups.) However, at some point in late February, we stopped talking about it all together.

The Victor Valley High School Class of 1992 will be reuniting this weekend. I’m actually sad we can’t be there. Today, as I thought about Michael’s reunion, I couldn’t help but reflect upon the legacy Michael left behind. Yes, I know, Michael’s Loyal Readers, my sentimentality is one of the things that makes healing from the loss of my dear sweet Michael so incredibly difficult. But… I wouldn’t have it any other way. Bring on the pain, I say. In fact, as the old adage goes – misery loves company… So, join me, won’t you? Let’s stroll down Michael’s legacy and reflect upon his endless talent and passion for writing (each image is a link):

Published Novels, Novellas, and Collections

Full Novel
1st Edition
(Lachesis Publishing; 2007)
Finalist for the Bram Stoker Award for Best First Novel

Full Novel
(Bad Moon Books; 2009)
Black Quill Award Winner – “Best Small Press Chill: Readers’ Choice”
Black Quill Award Winner- “Best Cover Art & Design: Editors’ Choice”
Black Quill Award Winner – “Best Cover Art & Design: Readers’ Choice”

Short Story Collection
(Bad Moon Books; 2010)
Bram Stoker Award Finalist – “Superior Achievement in a Collection”
Dark Quill Award Winner- “Best Dark Genre Fiction Collection: Readers’ Choice”

Novella
(Delirium Books; 2011)

Full Novel
(Morning Star Press; 2011)
Preliminary Ballot – Bram Stoker Novel list

Chapbook
(Burning Effigy Press; 2011)
Bram Stoker Finalist – “Superior Achievement in Long Fiction”

Full Novel
(DarkFuse Publications; 2012)

Full Novel
2nd Edition
(DarkFuse Publications; 2012)

Full Novel
(Bad Moon Books; TBA 2013)

Published Anthologies

Short Story: “Consumed”
Edited by R.J. Cavender
(Cutting Block Press; 2008)
Preliminary Bram Stoker Ballot – “Superior Achievement in Short Fiction”

Short Story: “There’s No Place in a Sleeping World for a Wakeful Man”
Edited by Shane Ryan Staley
(Delirium Books; 2011)

Poem: “Devolution”
Edited by Christopher Conlon
(Dark Scribe Press; 2011)

Butcher Knives & Body Counts: Essays on the Formula, Frights, and Fun of the Slasher Film

Essay on the Formula, Frights, & Fun of the Slasher Film: “Embracing the Chaos”
Edited by Vince A. Liaguno
(Dark Scribe Press; 2011)

Short Story: “The Sad, Not-So-Sad, Ballad of Goat-Head Jean,
Ambivalent Devil Queen”
Edited by Weldon Burge
(Smart Rhino Publications; 2012)

Reviews Galore!
(These aren’t all of Michael’s reviews…these are only links to the archives for two Horror-Entertainment websites that he frequently wrote reviews for.)

Horror Entertainment Website
Movie and Game Reviews
Edited by Greg Lamberson

Horror-Entertainment Website
Game Reviews
Edited by Michael Arruda and L.L. Soares
This website was a finalist for the HWA‘s BRAM STOKER AWARD for Superior Achievement in Non-Fiction (2010)

Screenplays

“Athena”
Original Feature Length Motion Picture
Currently in Production – Summer 2013
Written By: Michael Louis Calvillo
Directed By: Robert W. Filion

https://www.facebook.com/AthenaMovie

“Chekhov’s Children”
Short Film
2009
Written By: Michael Louis Calvillo
Directed By: Robert W. Filion

“The Promise Jar”
Short Film
2010
Written By: Michael Louis Calvillo, Robert W. Filion
Directed By: Robert W. Filion

“Dummy”
Short Film
2012
Written By: Michael Louis Calvillo
Directed By: Robert W. Filion

Gosh, this list doesn’t even include Michael’s cache of completed unpublished novels, novellas, screenplays, poems, etc. OR, the HUNDREDS of songs he wrote for the bands he was in… OR, all the raps he wrote for his students … OR, the raps he wrote just for fun… OR, all the beautiful love letters he wrote for me! (Sigh.)

And, yet… I still feel like I’m overlooking other things he wrote? (Am I? Probably.)

Well, in any case… I wanted to acknowlege all the amazing accomplishments Michael could’ve shared with his fellow alumni this weekend. Of course, if you knew Michael, he would have humbly kept all this to himself. His proud wife, on the other hand, would not have been able to keep herself from bragging!

Cheers, VVHS Class of 1992!

Michael Louis Calvillo
Victor Valley High School
Class of 1992

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My Cup Runneth Over

Posted in Books, General, News, Rants on March 7, 2012 by Michael Louis Calvillo

My damn DVR is damn screwy when it’s nearing full. You miss one long weekend, Thursday thru Sunday, off TV, on vacation, and it’s bloody hell catching up. And worse, the damned DVR starts bugging out.

Rather than watch evening TV (syndicated sitcoms), I’m trying to play catch-up with American Idol, but the DVR it seems would rather have some fun at my expense! Damn technology!

Sorry, I haven’t stayed on top of my blogs lately. If it’s any consolation, Loyal Reader, my classes are being neglected as well. Oh, and that little writing career thing I’ve got going? Yeah, it’s kicking my butt up and down the street (THERE IS SO DAMN MUCH TO DO!!!).

Thing is I a took a bit of a health dip. New medicine and the multitude of adjustments has got my body crazy. I even went to Urgent Care (which I hate because they keep you around for hours and hours over a half-hour issue). One of my main goals in getting well is packing on the calories! Laugh and scoff all you want, but it’s true, and it’s every bit as hard as trying to lose those last ten pounds. In any case, I started feeling bloated. I took some tums and drank prune juice, but the problem wouldn’t go. Eating is tough. I can’t seem to stomach anything. This is not good. I need my calories!

At Urgent Care they determined I needed a blood transfusion (chemo got me so low…) and that some of the bloat needed to be drained from my abdomen.

An ENTIRE day of waiting went by. The drainage procedure took ten minutes tops.

I gotta go back tomorrow for the standard chemo treatment. My stomach is still bloated, so we will hopefully figure a way to make it go away.

Hate to complain.

I do have some good news!

My latest novel, LAMBS, is currently up for pre-order from DarkFuse. They are only selling 100, limited edition hard covers (signed by moi). Hopefully folks catch on and it sells out soon. For those of you less inclined to collect, or drool, over beautifully produced books, LAMBS, is also available in all e-formats! Read with wild abandon – there’s no reason to fear mustard stains or cringe at broken spines!

(I pity the fool that don’t order this book!)

5 Comments »

Wild & Free (And Anxious)

Posted in General, Rants on January 17, 2012 by Michael Louis Calvillo

I don’t know how to relax. I’m in my electrolux, electric lounger, feet up, prone, but I’m jumping out of my skin. I can’t cool out. I blame the drugs.

Raised eyebrows, even out – I’m talking about Dr. prescribed pain medication, not party-all-night-and-blow-up-a-car drugs. You see, I am switching from one type of pain meds to another. I’m taking a long-lasting pain pill that works for 12 hours. That’s only two pills a day rather than the four pill a day cycle of my old medication. The less pills I gotta take the better. The big problem here is I’ve been on the four pill system for about a year. Weaning off the routine is tough stuff. My brain feels like scrambled eggs, fiending for the old drug while the new one begins to take hold. It’s kind of a mess.

So I here I sit, too tired to sleep, too anxious to do anything else.

And still the world goes round and round.

Seeking equilibrium, I float away on half thoughts of half things.

(Christopher Carrion, Lord of Midnight – I feel your pain…)

A pick me up. The 4 minute party…

Treat Me Nice

Posted in Books, General, News, Rants on January 11, 2012 by Michael Louis Calvillo

Oh, Treatment, how I loathe thee. Yes, I know, you are only doing your job. And at the heart of the matter, the reason I keep coming back for more, is because you are trying to save my life. I appreciate it. I really do. But oh, why must you be sooo damn tough? Why must you sap my energy and twist my bones?

I failed to show up yesterday (here on the blog that is) because I was simply too tired to type. After a full day of teaching hyperactive monkeys the fascinating intricacies of the Modern Language Association, I went to good old Hope for a blast of radiation. Today, I woke up and did it again. Tomorrow, I’ll be back at it. I have ten back-to-back treatments with the freaky, interstellar, radiation machine (it’s very Marvin the Martian-ish). The rays have to be administered daily and we live about an hour away from the facility, so, well, the next two weeks pretty much suck.

(Prepare yourself, humanoid! Feel the wrathful radiation of my illudium Q-36 explosive space modulator!)

You see, I’m tired, Loyal Reader. My propulsive writing schedule / crazy drive has dwindled some. I used to write in superhuman bursts – it was common to turn out about 5000 words a day (on a work day even!). I got so much done over the past few years that I have a number of projects simply waiting in the wings. These novels and novellas should sustain me for the next three or four years (I have two novels and two novellas releasing in 2012 – if and when I sell these other works, I’ll fill out my future…). In the meantime, at my slower pace, I’ll steadily add to the pool while working the business angle promoting my brand of screwed up fiction.

But man, it’s killing me. I just wanna chill and watch TV. I just wanna power down. I joked with my wife about retiring the other day. We laughed about it, but there’s some truth in the absurdity (retiring at 37 after releasing three novels, a short story collection, and two novellas, seems pretty absurd to me – sheesh, my career has only just begun). Still, sometimes I don’t want to write. Sometimes I want to give up the keys and keep it all inside.

It’s impossible though. It really is. I spent so many years trying to kick that door in, there’s no way I’ll ever take it for granted and let it all go. It’s insanely hard to get published. Money is tight. Folks don’t invest in you unless you prove yourself talented enough to warrant the investment. It’s a huge honor to have a number of go-to publishers willing to give your work preferential treatment. The army of struggling authors trying to sell their work know what I’m talking about. Once that door opens and you develop a working relationship with a publisher, you put your best brain forward, and you write, and you keep your name alive, or, you lose your place to the next eager novelist trying to come up. Legacies are at stake here. Squandering opportunity is unthinkable.

So I type. And I try to endear you. And I work to move you. And hopefully you take to my writing, and our brains commune, and you add my work to your library to be passed on and on into infinity.

I especially dig the line, “I miss the comfort in being sad.” It matches my bratty mood.

Saturday Afternoon

Posted in General, News, Rants on December 10, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

I’m waiting on my XBOX 360 to update. It’s damn slow. So slow, I am able to sneak a post in before falling into Skyrim.

(Oh yeah!)

The past twenty-four hours have been emotionally wonderful. Up and down, Loyal Reader. Mostly good though. I got to spend time with my niece and godson and nephew. They make life magic. My niece is two and a half and my nephews are one and a half. They are crazy adorable. Holding one is special. My godson, Matthew, digs buttons. He presses them and marvels at their effects. The window going up and down had him cracking up. I have this little cajun in my pocket – it’s a key ring that makes cajun sounds when you press one of the six buttons. The kid kept hitting the same two or three sayings, cracking up at the funny cajun voice emanating from the tiny speaker in plastic.

Can you believe my XBOX is still updating! It’s been a few. I had to think my way through some of the stuff above us. And still it’s updating. And updating. And updating. This is a perfect chance to paly Skyrim. A free afternoon. After Skyrimming, I’m gonna maybe watch a movie or some TV. We’ll see. It’s going to be a nice afternoon.

Come on XBOX! I’m waiting not so patiently!

How about some more cajun?

My XBOX is still updating. I went looking for the Skyrim picture then the cajun bit and I’m all ready to publish, but still, my XBOX is still updating!!!

Okay, I’m gonna go stare it down, Loyal Reader.

Time Machine

Posted in General, Rants on December 7, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

Between sleep and Skyrim (the best), and a crappy subpar comedy (by all means, stay away from 30 MINUTES OR LESS – I refuse to hyperlink it!), I haven’t gotten much done. Sometimes my writing pulls like an albatross around my neck. It’s difficult to get started. I’d rather sleep. Once I get it going, it goes easier, but the beginning isn’t for lazy people. You gotta work. You gotta put in those hours.

It doesn’t feel like there are enough hours in the day.

Where does the time go? A kid in one of my classes asked me if I noticed how time moves faster now than it did before. I agree, but I didn’t feel that way at his age. At his age I thought time was slow as molasses. A year? Sheesh, that seemed like forever.

(Time, time, time, what has become of me?)

Now, it feels like nothing. One year bleeds into the next so fast it’s as if we are traveling at light speed, hurtling through the universe, burning up, then expiring. It the Great Agony of our existence, Loyal Reader. It’s deep, deep heart stuff.

I am trying my hardest to enjoy every second.

I love this…

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The Morning After (Or, How MLC Got His Groove Back)

Posted in General, Movies, Music, News, Rants, Raves on December 4, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

Last night we had a Pajama Jammy Jam. A small gathering of friends came over for some pajama wearing fun. Everything went smoothly. We had a good time. I got to break in my new amps (which I’ve been blabbing about on this here blog for weeks and weeks). Though I had an awesome time, I didn’t have one of those transcendent music moments. We played a few cool jams, but I spent a lot of time just trying to find my groove. It was kind of disappointing, but, well, what can you do? You jam, once, twice, three times a year tops, and you’re bound to be rusty. Next time around, I hope to burn this mutha down.

(Beware my (eventual) power!)

Until then, I need more practice. I need to practice more. There’s nothing worse than the sound of ill-tuned, ill-timed, sloppy guitar playing (just thinking about it has me cringing).

So then, if you check in here daily, or every few days, or however you do, you may have noticed that I’ve missed a few blogging days. Sorry. I have no excuse, Loyal Reader. Chalk it up to laziness. I guess I can blame my new chemo. I switched from one poison to another (I’ll write about it one of these days) and the transition has been a little rough (not to worry, little being the operative word here).

This new chemo has a host of side effects (don’t they all), one of which being flu-like symptoms. I ache some and feel a bit flush and weak and all I want to do is watch TV and sleep and sleep and watch TV. Alas, it’s nothing I can’t tolerate. I’ll manage (and watch some bad movies on cable while on the mend – speaking of which, I caught HATCHET II the other night – other than the opening titles, set to Ministry’s fabulous Just One Fix, it was uber-terrible).

(Chasing that elusive groove…)

I usually don’t rock the bass, but sometimes you gotta take one for the team. I came up with some solid bass lines on a few free form sessions and brought in that back-end on the Smashing Pumpkins, Nirvana, Weezer, Beatles, and U2 covers (to name a few) we attempted (mostly successful – though I must admit, a few songs dissolved into chaotic noise – not that this is a bad thing – sonic discord can be fun).

It’s a shame we are all so busy with real life. Distance makes it impossible (we all live about forty minutes+ from one another), but if we could find a way to practice regularly, we might sound good ALL of the time rather than some of the time. Oh well, we had fun and that’s what it’s all about. It’s not like we’re going to be the next big thing, that opportunity left the building the moment we grew up and started our careers.

That’s life, Loyal Reader. It’s fleeting and fragile.

Which reminds me…

My wife and daughter and I went to see Martin Scorsese’s HUGO. It raised a lump in my throat and got my brain all tripped up on BIG, BIG life themes. It’s more than a sweet, stylish, family movie. It’s a special film, one that deserves a fully dedicated blog post. I promise to write about it some time this week. I’ll get my mind right and try to do it justice in my critique.

Here’s that killer Ministry song (the best part of HATCHET II)…

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Metal 101

Posted in General, Music, Rants on November 14, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

VH1 is running a multi-part series about Metal called, METAL: EVOLUTION. It’s put together by the same filmmaker who did METAL: A HEADBANGER’S JOURNEY (2005), Sam Dunn. The guy’s an anthropologist and he’s chosen rock/metal culture as his forte.

His first film was a nice, concise look at the different types of metal subcultures and how each segment of the genre influenced and created one another, creating more subgenres.

I learned about Saxon and Black Sabbath in the early days. Dunn’s first documentary touches on all sorts of Metal, concluding with the aggressive new metal of the time (Marilyn Manson and Slipknot type stuff, circa 2005).

(Feel the fire! Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaw – High kicking in skin tight spandex!)

This new show seems like a deeper chronicle, going the series route, devoting an hour to each subject. The first episode, Pre-Metal is waiting in my DVR. New episodes debut each Saturday. I highly recommend you join me. You’ll enjoy yourself, Loyal Reader, I promise. A good documentary is one of my favorite things. They are thumbs-up cool!

Anyway, my pop-culture Metal skills will be honed and I’ll be a lean, mean, trivia machine.

Rock on!

Ozzy was one cool cat…

3 Comments »

Disposable Teens

Posted in Music, News, Rants, Raves on November 9, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

Like GWAR, SKINNY PUPPY were part of my love for theatrical, art, horror rock. GWAR were the grimy kings of metal, SKINNY PUPPY held down that industrial angle.

I learned about GWAR right out of high school. SKINNY PUPPY took up about two or three years of my teens. I went on this very teenage, high school, drama, gothy, industrial music kick. I loved the stuff. NINE INCH NAILS ruled (still kind of do). Trent Reznor was my idea of supreme awesomeness.

SKINNY PUPPY were nowhere near as melodic. They didn’t produce too many club bangers. They are kind of like industrial-psycho-monster jazz. Some of their atonal aural scapes and sound collages aren’t really music. I always skipped those (or played them in darkened room or something stupid and teenage). I listened to a few of their albums heavily. Cleanse, Fold and Manipulate, Too Dark Park, and Last Rights were all excellent albums. There are a few of those non-songs, but they just add to the ambiance. SKINNY PUPPY are all about ambiance.

(My favorite SP album)

They perform in costume, but unlike GWAR’s sleazy, outer space, scumdogs, SKINNY PUPPY are way dark.

I went to a show at the Hollywood Palladium in ’92 for their Last Rights tour. I was sixteen. It was my second or third concert ever (My first? RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS at the Greek Theater circa Mother’s Milk). It was scary, Loyal Reader. I was too small for the tumult.

(My second favorite SP album)

Before the show, me and my posse (I rolled with like eight others in a mini-van) gathered front and center and nabbed some prime real estate. As showtime got closer the lights went lower. The music on the PA got weird. They played lots of pre-show metal – Danzig and Ministry and the like, but as the show was about to begin, the band worked in part of their act. Those atonal aural soundscapes weren’t so atonal. They still weren’t music, but the electrified the vibe. The crowd began to swell.

Front and center and short is rough. As soon as the crowd began to lean forward, one huge mob of interlocking legs, stumbling and squeezing the hell out of each other, I basically got squished.

Seconds before they hit the stage the music on the PA cut out. The crowd swelled. The lights went out. The crowd went BONKERS.

More of those aural experiments zapped the air like lightning. Things on stage began to light up. A few TV sets played static then images of the grotesque.

Nivek Ogre (Kevin spelled backwards, folks), SKINNY PUPPY’S front man (they were a trio back then – the lineup has changed over the years), stepped from the darkness in the creepiest, full body monster suit I’ve ever seen. It was awesome.

Alas, I was swept about the arena on a tidal wave of wild gesticulation.

My teenage mind had officially been blown.

(Showtime!)

I stuck with them for a couple of years. The last album I tried was 1996’s The Process. They’ve had some stuff since them, but I fell off. The band suffered overdoses and deaths and have regrouped here and there. Last week I picked up their latest, Handover. The jury is still out. I gotta give it a few more listens. So far so good though. Some of it reminds me of their old stuff. One song sounded like Rob Zombie (which is also currently in out Car’s CD changer).

Perhaps it’s time for a Renaissance? Is that gothic, industrial drone compatible with the adult brain or was it merely a phase? Time will tell.

My wife is new to them. She hasn’t gave me her opinion yet, but I think she likes it. I’d ask her, but she’s taking a nap. The woman DOES NOT STOP. It’s finally caught up to her. I’m glad. She’ll get the sleep that she needs and she looks damn adorable sleeping.

Part of SKINNY PUPPY’s (what a lame name though, huh?) appeal is an undercurrent of madness, of dark, romantic madness that gets teenagers all nutzo. I’m too grown for that emo crap, you know?

So then, Loyal Reader, get out there (however you do it) and buy a new album, then listen to it and pick it apart. Blog about it. It’s fun.

Oh, and be sure to include video…

3 Comments »

Meh Cinema (Let’s Get Together And Watch Paint Dry!)

Posted in Movies, Rants, Raves on November 5, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

Welcome to mediocrity…

I saw two impromptu movies this past week, Loyal Reader. Circumstance pushed us into theaters without much forethought. I love this. Last summer, while trying to get over this damn disease crap (as if I’m battling the common cold or something), we spent a lot of time at home. The money we usually pony up for a nice trip somewhere historical, or tropical, or both, went to easy diversions like movies, and eating out, and the occasional thing.

We saw lots of impromptu movies. We even went to see a movie one fine afternoon and then went to another movie at an entirely different theater in the equally fine evening. The lack of order was very cool. I probably enjoyed certain movies more than I ordinarily would have because of it.

Sitting near my best girl, eating popcorn and Junior Mints, unconcerned about time and responsibility, enveloped by the screen – I can’t think on anything sweeter (I truly can’t).

During the school year, things are quite a bit different. We are superBUSY and we don’t get to the movies as often. We plan. Movies actually mean more because we can’t see them all. We rarely take chances and see things that we might deem as subpar for kicks (like we did ALL summer long). It’s less about the experience and more about the quality of the movie.

Anyway, back on Wednesday, my chemo session (usually six hours of intravenous boredom) got cut short thanks to an extremely uncomfortable allergic reaction (I’ll blog about the drama of it someday). Suddenly, my lovely wife and I found ourselves with a few hours (our kid was at a band event) to kill. Naturally, I brought up the Flickster app on my iPad and we made our way to a showing of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3.

Meh.

That’s it.

I’m not mad at the film (unless I really start to think about the films I could have watched in its place – but then, I don’t think anything out there is all that great at the moment anyhow).

It wasn’t bad.

It was…meh.

(An exercise in patience – Junior Mints and popcorn help to pass the time…)

I do dig the way each of the PARANORMAL ACTIVITY sequels slowly (ever so SLOWLY) fills in back story that’s useful to appreciating the film that came before it. I thought part 2 was especially clever, running a story that moved concurrently with part 1’s narrative. I have to give the PA team credit for tweaking conventions and doing things differently than the average cash-grab retread.

Still, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, no matter the chronology, or the occasional glimmer of inventiveness, is…well…still, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY. It’s still all about watching NOTHING (hoping for something) for about 80 of the film’s 90 minute run time.

Jumping ahead, the end of PA3, like that of PA1 and PA2, is pretty cool. Like part 2, I like what it does for the other films in the series. It’s interesting (I’m a sucker for demons and the like). Unfortunately, it’s not even a little bit scary. I thought the first and second film did a better job with the creepy factor (utilizing typical household creaks, and groans, punctuated by the occasional massive BOOM for effect). PA3 strives to shock, but the overall impact has withered.

(Note: as a self-proclaimed horror aficionado, it takes a lot to scare me, but I am handicapping my review with the average viewer in mind).

I guess the million dollar question here is would I go out and see PA4?

The sad answer (damn you Hollywood and your filthy, money-making tactics) is ABSOLUTELY!

Despite my many, many quibbles, I’ll definitely turn out for another round. The movies have built up a wonderfully macabre mythology around a simple tale of demonic possession. I want to know what happens next, if only for five to ten minutes of screen time thrills.

So then, go see it, or rent it, but remember, my recommendation comes with a giant MEH tacked to its backside.

Oh, also, the second film we stumbled into, PUSS IN BOOTS, got a small mention in my post EMOTIONAL TWISTER. I can probably come up with more to say, but does the picture really warrant a few hundred words about how average it is. Probably not. If you have a kid in the proper demographic, you could do worse.

The weird thing about the PA3 trailer is that it features a number of scenes not in the actual film…