The Wit & Wisdom of Michael Gary Scott

Who memorizes The Pledge of Allegiance to the tune of Old MacDonald?

Who prefers Eddie Murphy in Raw to his performance in Daddy Day Care, but still asserts that both films are “Great movies”?

Who attempts a Survivorman type wilderness adventure, cuts off his slack’s pant legs because it is too hot, then tapes them back together with duct tape when the sun begins to set and things cool down?

Oh, Loyal Reader, I’m sure most of you are well-acquainted with The Office’s endearing, dumb Michael Scott (if not, you’re missing out), but man, I love, love, love the guy!

I watch the show in primetime and then watch episode after episode in syndication and I never get tired of it. I’ve seen some episodes five, six, seven times and I’ll still sit there and watch. The jokes work again and again and again. Michael Scott has me laughing aloud again and again and again.

Understand – I am not a rube. It takes a certain effort to make me laugh. I am a pretentious, jerky, cerebral, pop-culture snob. I am more likely to dislike a show than like it. If Facebook had a dislike button, I’d proudly push the sucker over and over again. Most sitcoms have me grinding my teeth in irritation. But Mr. Michael Scott? That dude is comedy gold.


(It never gets old…)

The Office has a whole bunch going for it. I was worried that when Michael Scott left at the end of last season that the show would suffer, but, two episodes into the new season, and they’ve done some wondrously funny things with their bevy of talented supporting players (the Nard-dog is shining).

The addition of James Spader as Robert California, a man so smart that when applying for a managerial position he ends up talking the CEO out of her job and stepping in, has been a brilliant addition. He inspires and debases without impunity (and often in the very same quip). Mainstream sitcoms rarely kick so much comedic butt.

And while I am looking forward to each new episode, and enjoying laughing at some solid writing, nothing can hold a candle to the wisdom of Michael Scott.

No matter what happens with the show, he will be missed. His pathos, his sad-sack, over-eager doofus offends, then cracks you up, then breaks your heart, all in equal abundance. The poor guy simply wants to be loved. Everybody can relate.

Steve Carell has gotten miles and miles out of the character. He’s done such an incredible job I actually wish the character was real. I wish Michael Scott was one of my friends.


(Groucho Marx: “Dying is easy, comedy is hard.”  Michael Scott: “That’s what she said!!!”)

Remember the time he visited a kindergarten classroom in an economically stressed neighborhood?

During a career-day type event, he enthusiastically promised a class of at-risk kids that he’d put them through college so long as they made it to the big day and graduated from high school.

Twelve years later, each and every one of Scott’s Tots has made it to the big day and they are expecting a full ride. Michael shows up, basking in the fanfare, milking the false glory for all of its worth, dragging things out until the last possibly second when he has no choice but to admit (during a particularly painful speech) that he can’t follow through with his financial obligation. As a consolation, he gives each student a brand new laptop…wait for it…wait for it…battery!


Best episode ever.

Okay then, Loyal Reader, without further adieu – I am proud to present the wisdom of Michael Scott…

Awesome quote #1

Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”

Awesome quote #2

I love babies. I think they are beautiful in all sorts of different ways. I try to pick up and hold a baby every day, if possible, because it nourishes me. It feeds my soul. Babies are drawn to me. And I think it’s because they see me as one of them. But … cooler and with my life put together a little bit more. If a baby were president, there would be no taxes. There would be no war.

Awesome quote #3

I don’t want somebody sucking up to me because they think I am going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me.”

Awesome quote #4

Yes, money has been a little tight lately. But, at the end of my life, when I’m sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I’m going to be thinking about how many friends I have, and my children, and my comedy albums. I mean, I have a yacht, so I obviously did pretty well money-wise.”

Awesome quote #5

My philosophy is basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what. No matter … where. Or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or … or where you’ve been … ever. For any reason, whatsoever.”

And so it goes, on and on and on…

I could post these things all day, but that’s what the Internet is for, right? So, get out there and search for some more Michael Scott quotes. If you are in need of a smile, they work wonders.

See you tomorrow, Party People.


The man can’t help it…



One Response to “The Wit & Wisdom of Michael Gary Scott”

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