Last night, I put the blog on pause and watched Kevin Smith’s latest, RED STATE. Here is how it all went down.
RED STATE is billed as horror and it is most definitely horrific, but I’d call it a thriller before I’d call it a horror movie. Either way, it’s a way solid film. It doesn’t really feel all that much like a Kevin Smith movie, but, well, it’s his work, so there you go.
(Things get freaky!)
Smith’s style is pretty cool. There are lots of flourishes. His characters have lots to say and they say it with a profane wit and wisdom. There’s a little caricature, but once the horror element kicks in, it really doesn’t matter. Folks die left and right. The movie begins to be more about the situation than the characters. It takes on a detached, documentary style. The end gets weird, but instead of going crazy (I might have liked that), explanations set everything right. It almost ruins the movie, but all that has come before is so strong…
RED STATE held me. I dug it. I was entranced by its weird, ramshackle editing, gory gunfights, and kooky preacher soliloquies. It’s a pretty scary film.
Posted in General, News on October 21, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
I chimed in a few days ago about Ubisoft’sauthentic guitar game, ROCKSMITH, and promised an update. Here goes…
First off, If you don’t know how to play guitar, the game is way too difficult for someone going in cold. However, the variety of video tutorials and technique building mini-games, are excellent training aids. If you don’t play guitar, but you are ready to learn, ROCKSMITH is surprisingly deep in scope and variety. If you’re willing to put in the time (and tedious repetition) and you’ve the proper patience (and discipline), the game is less of a game and more of a tool.
Plugging in a real guitar is more than a novelty here. It works really, really well. The interface is precise. The game tracks each note and recognizes everything from harmonics to palm muting. Things can get complex. I’m not sure how the tech works, but my analog guitar and my digital gaming console have fallen in love.
It’s a wonderful thing.
Once I’ve familiarized myself with a song, following the tablature-come-to-life animations, I can let loose and rock it. So far I’ve tackled(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction(The Rolling Stones classic) and The Black Keys‘ Next Girl. I knocked them out in a few tries and I am all set to jam them out live. Cool, huh?
You can play each song via a few different arrangements. You can choose single note, chords, or a combo of both. I prefer the latter, strumming chords when appropriate and then laying down smoking leads during solos. It’s nice to have the option. Some songs work better with single notes, and some with chords, but I like balancing both.
(Good luck…you’ll need it)
The menus are a bit convoluted. I’ve loaded the game up twice thus far and after rocking it, I spent a little time digging through the wealth of features to see what’s what (there is TONS of content to sort out). I found my way around fine, but it’s an odd layout and navigating takes some getting used to. Plus, you have to use the console’s controller to move about, which is kind of cumbersome while strapped to a guitar tethered to a cord.
Oh, and the 1/4″ to USB cable is too short. Hopefully they’ll come out with a wireless setup in the near future.
(I’m a USB cable AND a guitar cord)
These are baby quibbles, merely annoyances in design and execution, but the rest of the package is so strong they’re definitely not deal breakers.
I still have a lot to mess with, but all-in-all it’s a thumbs up here. I like that I’m not just playing around, but actually practicing. It seems less wasteful. The game is actually a worthwhile exercise. When Rockband came out with drums, I was all excited about learning how to play. It gave me a few chops (I can pound out a few cool beats), but not much else (I still suck). This latest incarnation is miles beyond basic. Button mashing is always fun, but this thing can truly teach someone how to play an actual instrument. At eighty bucks (steep for a video game), it’s a real steal.
They both seem okay to me, but only one is correct (that’s all right if you’re playing along).
Sorry, I didn’t mean to get all English teacher geeky on you. I was just giving this post a title and the all right / alright argument presented itself.
(These guys don’t take no crap)
Okay, next…
Anyway, speaking of the title – I was recently added to a Facebook group for my upcoming 20th class reunion. Mind you, I didn’t join the group, I was added, but while I bail on most groups I’ve been added to without my initial permission, it’s been kind of interesting seeing what’s become of the class of ’92.
I haven’t kept in touch with anybody.
I’m awful.
But seriously. High school was simply four frustrating years of doing what had to be done before Real Life actually got started. It wasn’t so bad. I was a decent student. I had lots of chums. I was cool with the experience.
(Our mascot) ;-/
I wasn’t into school spirit. Instead, I prefered grimacing at the happy-headed idiocy and keeping it low key. I hung with a group of friends from elementary school all the way on up through the tenth grade (smart kids) and then I joined a band and ended up spending the rest of my school days hanging out with a completely different crowd (partiers).
Since, the further and further away we get, the less and less I seem to remember.
It’s kind of depressing.
I surf an army of names and profiles and my brain grinds, searching and sputtering and hissing like a corrupted hard drive, trying to pull info. Faded memory sparks. I get vague impressions. Something significant fires here and there, but it’s weird how much I can’t recall. It was a long time ago, but I have plenty of other old memories that work just fine. They play out behind my eyes and resonate and do what memories are supposed to do. What happened to my high school memory banks?
(More brains please)
Every so often one of the names triggers a flood of clarity. A dead part of my mind comes alive.
But man, oh man, something in my mental makeup just can’t seem to pull it together. Faces don’t register. Did I actually go to school with these people?
Anyway, it’s nice to see that most everybody is doing well. There’s lots of talk of happy families and good jobs, but then, it’s not all wine and roses. I was shocked to learn that a whole bunch of my former classmates have died. My stomach turned as I read awful news of auto wrecks, cancers, suicides, and even a murder. Life can be too damn cruel, Loyal Reader.
The class is reuniting in Vegas next summer. I’m not going. Like I mentioned, I can barely remember these people. I stalk the Facebook page out of pure curiosity (and, as it turns out, a sickening, morbid fascination). I haven’t chimed in and don’t think I ever will.
One of the classmates informed the group that she only attended our high school for one semester in her 9th grade year. Her family moved away and that was that. Still, she interacts as if she went to school with these guys forever. It’s odd, huh? Does she have another class reunion at the school she graduated from? And how can she remember anything at all? I went there for four ever-slow-years, every-slow-day, and I can hardly visualize certain parts of the campus. My mental map is all wonky with patches of shadow.
(Always be nice to others)
I’m not hatin’ though. Please, don’t get me wrong. That would be super lame. No. I say, go. It’s cool. There’s nothing wrong with making new friends. She seems to have a great time connecting with her old buddies.
Teaching high school, interacting with these kids, having lucid conversations, building memories, shaping ideas, it’s strange to think that some of them will forget, and some of them will hold on, and some of them will die, and some of them will even be up for rekindling non-relationships with people they used to know.
Just remember that life is cruel, the kids are all right, and it’s the adults we need to be leery of.
Posted in General, News on October 19, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
Had parent teacher conference tonight. They call it PTC. It’s held in a large gymnasium and all of us teachers get to sit at tables lined up against the cavernous walls. Parents get their kids report card before entering the gym, then visit each of their student’s teachers for talk of grading and misbehaving.
We do it for two hours. 5-7PM. It’s not too torturous (it kinda is). I’d rather we did it in our own classrooms where parents could pay a visit to their children’s learning environment.
Moan, moan, moan.
(Hot for teacher)
It’s cool though. I met some nice parents. We had some pleasant chit-chat. Mostly A and B student parents. The Cs hardly ever come. A few Ds and Fs, but really, too few to mention.
I had two or three helpful instances. I looked a student in the eyes and then their parent’s eyes and then we made a pact to get the kid back on track. This works. It’s pretty, powerful mojo.
The one thing that felt the weirdest for me is the whole cancer thing. I’m skinny for me. I look different than I did. You can see it in my face – it’s a different face. It was a little meatier (I was a meathead). Lots of former students notice the difference. And lots of folks, kids and adults alike, don’t know how to act. They make things kind of weird.
It’s okay though. Reversing the situation, I’d feel weird too.
Don’t fret or tarry yourself sick, Loyal Reader. I’m handling it. I’m packing on pounds with dessert and fattening food. Soon, I’ll plump up a little. I’ll eventually go soft in the middle. I’ll add some inches to this healing frame.
Or this blight will grow…
(Like cancer, but worse!)
Whatever happens, I gotta learn to enjoy seemingly tedious exercises and find the good in all.
Putting it like that, I can still feel some of the warmth. I had a couple meaningful encounters where I felt genuine concern and care. It felt good. I shouldn’t really hug folks (germs and disease don’t mix) or shake their hands even, but I look back on each moment of greeting and parting and it makes me feel much better. Nothing is cooler than compassionate expression.
Call us modern-day primitives, but every so often Costco dinners are in order. A gut-busting Polish sausage dog or two pieces of heavy, greasy pizza? Which is the lesser of two evils? You’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
And if that doesn’t do you in, they make a great fruit and ice cream thing. And if the time is right, you can wash everything down with a little sample buffet. It’s kind of like dining tapas style.
(Worth the burn)
So then, Loyal Reader, what tops a Costco dinner night? How about a Costco dinner night coupled with a visit to Gamestop for some trading?!
Very cool, huh?
I’ve got my sights set on ROCKSMITH, a new guitar game that uses a real guitar (any guitar with 1/4 inch jack – I’ve got three of them) and turns the whole button mashing colored jewels thing into something much cooler. You actually play notes and chords via a tablature like system that replaces falling jewels with fret numbers for the proper finger placement.
When you learn a song on ROCKSMITH, you learn that song for real.
I love playing guitar and I love getting into the garage for a jam session (Halloween will rock!), but I can never remember songs to play. If I pick five, maybe six songs off the game, and then spend the next two weeks trying to master them I should be good to go come my Halloween jam.
Thus begins a noble experiment. I will see if this ROCKSMITH does all it claims to and then I will report back with the results.
(Rawk!)
It’s eighty bucks – a little more than the standard 59.99. The game comes with a special guitar cord that fits a guitar on one end and the game console’s USB interface on the other. I’ve got some trade-ins gathering dust (I had to stop playing RAGE before I even gave it a fair shake – it got me motion sick!) so it’s out with the old and in with the new.
Posted in Movies, Rants, Raves on October 17, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
Like most genre-lovers, I dig bad, bad movies.
Not just bad movies – bad by itself doesn’t cut it – I’m talking bad, bad movies. I’m talking movies sooo bad that they somehow lap themselves and end up turning out pretty good. I’m talking about movies with a subversive undercurrent, movies that are bold enough to flaunt their badness. These movies know they are bad and generally don’t give a damn.
When it comes to devoting 90 minutes, I tend to prefer them.
My all-time favorite bad, bad movie is hand’s down, Jackie Kong’s BLOOD DINER (I’ve written several critical pieces on the film – the definitive article being an extensive essay published in Darkscribe’s gargantuan horror / slasher film anthology, BUTCHER KNIVES & BODY COUNTS). It’s a gleefully nutball blast of eighties gore. If you haven’t seen it, make it one of your goals. You might not enjoy it as much as I did as a deviant teen – most of these movies only work at a certain time and place in your life – but love it or leave it, it’ll definitely leave an impression.
It’s nowhere near as awesome as BLOOD DINER (it’s not even in the same oddball ballpark), but it surely qualifies as bad, bad, and in terms of leaving a lasting legacy, it will probably live on as an interesting genre oddity. Or maybe not. Maybe a cult will develop ala commercially failed Adam Sandler comedies (GRANDMA’S BOY, BUCKY LARSON) or maybe the movie will die away and just fade into bad, bad movie obscurity. It might go down as a bad, bad, bad movie (that third bad? It’s not a good thing).
It’s not a bad, bad movie in the traditional accidental sense. The filmmakers here are competent (I actually think they are more than competent – I think they are pretty exceptional – their resumes are loaded with great films). They set out to make a quirky comedy and have succeeded. Bad, bad isn’t really fair here, but with these guys and their low-brow predilections, I think they might appreciate the bad, bad distinction.
As far as bad, bad goes, low budget, indie horror, by its excessive nature, is more likely to produce the occasional twisted, little gem. Big-budget sword & sorcery epics rarely aim low. They usually shoot for the stars, then fail miserably, then disappear from the collective consciousness. Case closed. Other than Jackson’s LORD OF THE RINGS series, and Boorman’s artsy (commercial bomb) EXCALIBUR, I can’t think of too many other successful cornerstones. When sword & sorcery films go down, they go down hard (I’m looking at you CONAN 3D).
(Bad, bad good)
Repeated viewings generally don’t help, they just make the costumes look goofier and the sets all the more ridiculous. The action gets repetitive. Though medieval and purposefully dated, things look old. Man, as much as I love the genre in theory (I’m a sucker for fantasy novels), it’s a hard-sell. It’s tough to pull these things off (HBO’s GAME OF THRONES is up to the challenge).
With YOUR HIGHNESS, the creators of EASTBOUND & DOWN (David Gordon Green, Danny McBride, Ben Best), and their extreme, screwed-up sensibilities, thought it would be a funny idea to marry a sword & sorcery questing adventure with their profane, warped world-view.
Hmmm?
A sword & sorcery stoner comedy?
Okay.
I don’t know who green-lit this sucker (or why – the idea is usually to make money), but I’m glad they did. Bad, bad movies just got themselves another worthy piece of pop culture trash to add to the inexhaustible canon of sleaze and cheese.
I’m not in the mood to write-up a detailed review, besides, the less you know about this or that, the more likely you are to enjoy the movie, but I’ll give you a little to whet the appetite…
Danny McBride plays a slightly toned down version of Kenny Powers(if you know nothing about Kenny Powers get yourself to Google stat!). His Thadeous isn’t as deeply offensive as the coked-out, baseball has-been, but he comes pretty darn close. He’s still selfish, foul-mouthed, and rude. He still thinks the world owes him EVERYTHING. He still complains and talks loads of mess. He still thinks he’s God’s gift. And it still works (for me at least – as for the rest of the world? The film was universally reviled).
I love McBride’s prideful, a-hole / coward character. He was great in THE FOOT FIST WAY and legendary on EASTBOUND & DOWN (and especially effective in OBSERVE & REPORT where Seth Rogen did an excellent McBride impersonation playing a part clearly written for McBride). He keeps me smiling with his mullet and his obscenely cocky sense of self-entitlement.
(Kenny F—— Powers!)
James Franco mugs it up big time, playing his role (Thadeous’s golden boy brother, Fabious) completely straight, holding his luxuriant locks high, smiling a big hero’s smile, dashing and righteous as a Prince Charming styled champion. Franco chews the scenery with melodramatic relish, having way too much fun, channeling his soap opera chops to help him ham things up. He overacts perfectly.
(Keepin’ it real)
The movie itself follows Franco’s lead. It’s a ridiculous mess, but it plays all of the Dungeons & Dragons stuff on the nose. It’s not a wink-wink nod-nod satire – McBride’s character maybe, his mega-jerk is ridiculous in any context – but the rest of the movie takes its dumbass plot seriously (in which the boys must quest to save a virgin from a deranged warlock). Mixing wizards, and spells, and a fierce Minotaur (whose penis is the source of much hilarity), and ancient prophecies, it’s actually a serviceable fantasy.
Okay, let’s not get too carried away here – the splattery (the goofy gore effects are great) adventure never really amounts to much more than a series of scatological jokes (Green and company continually milk any plot points involving sex or genitalia), but I laughed, and smirked, and laughed, and guffawed, and laughed some more. I had fun (which is a whole lot more than I can say about most movies out there).
And that’s all that really matters. Bad, bad movies entertain first and work as art second (yes, Loyal Reader, even stoner comedies can be classified as art). YOUR HIGHNESS may not stir the soul (or come anywhere close to the soul), but that’s cool, that not its thing.
Sometimes, I’d rather just turn everything OFF and let a movie of this ilk settle over my brain, filling in sucking pockets of gray matter with the absurd, gassing me into submission, not unlike the pungent, illicit fog that surely deserves a screenwriting credit amongst its human conduits.
Posted in Books, General, News on October 16, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
This is how we used to do it!
(A few MS Word txt. files and this sucker hit capacity!)
Oh, and BTW, this post is the 101st thread in 101 days! Yes, it’s a paltry post if there ever was one, but, well…did you hear me? 101 BLOGS in 101 DAYS! And most of them are 1000+ words! Sweet!
I love getting reviews of my work. No matter what you hear, no matter the humility, no matter the idiot ego, working writers DIG reading what other writers (yes, critics are writers by trade too!) have to say about their chops. They can wave a dismissive hand all they want and pretend not to care, but they’re not fooling anyone. They care. Trust me, they really, really care.
And when they get a bad review (it’s happened to me approximately two times), it hurts.
(You suck! Ha! Ha! Ha!)
Oh, we’ve got thick skins and we slink along seemingly unphased and try to act like it doesn’t matter, but we don’t write these books to have them slagged. We want you to like us. That’s why we write what we write. We hope it works and entertains (and changes the world or whatever).
When a negative review rolls in, I pick apart my work and wonder what it is about a particular piece that a particular reviewer can’t seem to stomach. It eats me a little.
But then, I cheer myself and think that if I have to wonder, and the critic in question hasn’t laid out any firm, concrete problems, I can breathe a little easier. That I can’t understand a critic that can’t understand me, isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It just reaffirms that we aren’t right for each other. C’est la vie.
It’s the articulate critics that do me in. Clarity stings.
(So true.)
Lucky for me, one of the best writers in the on-line critic game, Adam Groves of FRIGHT.com, seems to enjoy my work. He’s said some awfully nice things about my first two novels (I WILL RISE, AS FATE WOULD HAVE IT). Same for my collection (BLOOD & GRISTLE) and a goofy, little novella I published with Delirium earlier this year (BLEED FOR YOU).
The guy isn’t made of praise. He dings what he believe needs to be dinged. I’ve been fortunate enough to garner mostly glowing critiques, and I love reading how awesome I am at this, or how effective I am at that (and, yes, I even appreciate reading about my work’s shortcomings), but mostly, I enjoy Mr. Groves’ reviews because the man can write his butt off.
He is uber-articulate. And he attacks works with an intelligent, literary gusto missing from most online review sites.
Browse his reviews – you’ll actually get smarter (I promise).
Posted in General, News, Rants on October 14, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
We’ve just been Lola’d! Here I am watching some Kitchen Nightmares, just chillin’. Michelle brought me a big old burrito from this greasy spoon place called SS Burger Basket. It’s a five dollar burrito. I ate half and Michelle was going to eat the other half, but Lola struck before she had the chance.
We left the burrito on the table, out of doggie range. That fat slapper jumped up there and got it! She ate that five dollar burrito in two bites!
Posted in General, Movies on October 13, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
My work is done.
Not.
I ALWAYS have new work nibbling at the base of my brain.
I’ll start another project tomorrow (I gotta write a new novel), but at this very moment I am done with my screenwriting duties on the now-in-production ATHENA (like us on Facebook, please).
(An interesting still from ATHENA)
My first produced screenplay.
Sweet.
I’ve done a couple of shorts. Three by the same director, my homie, Robert W. Filion. He does good work and gets better and better with each new short he puts out. The three I wrote – CHEKHOV’S CHILDREN, DUMMY (no link), and THE PROMISE JAR are pretty cool little films.
But ATHENA? ATHENA is something special. It started as a short, thirty-minute film about one guy’s inability to get over his wife’s death and finds help from a brain-infesting little parasite. It was quirky, and kind of gross, and fun. Robert has been wanting to do a feature for sometime. He wants to get that career going (he’s got skills) so he figures the time is now. I’m with it. Let’s get our art out there. Let’s be heard.
Books are excellent. I love reading and writing them, and I love that the books I write are actually being read. Hundreds have taken the plunge, but my vision wants to haunt thousands, and hundreds of thousands, and more.
A feature has that potential.
(Magic, Loyal Reader, pure magic)
I knocked out two more segments in the ATHENA universe and wove them together with the original short. It jumps around and plays with time ala PULP FICTION. As much as the writer in me wanted to put in title cards with clever titles, breaking the film into chapters, and giving it a literary feel, boxing in sequences, I held off and kept it all visual.
When we transition between segments we simply fade, or wipe, or whatever, and then we let the story-line dictate time and place. It’s exciting.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about sound. I like musical cues – mini-refrains that can be used throughout the film to tie scenes to other scenes. Audio poetry. I love it. I love motifs.
Still, I gotta shut up. All of that stuff is Robert’s job. The writer has to let it go and hope the pages translate to the screen. I think this one is going to work. I think people are gonna dig it. It has a mass appeal to its horrific set pieces. There’s lots of blood, and limbs, and gore, but the in-between talking is funny and sometimes…insightful. Sometimes little nuggets of wisdom just spill out.
That’s the best part about screenwriting. Things have to move faster than in a novel and little sound bytes of poetry manage to creep their way in. If Robert’s actors can pull it off just right, this thing can take us places.
Michael Louis Calvillo Must Be Destroyed 