First off, RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES rocks! It’s dumb as a box of rocks, but it moves swift, has heart, and the CGI looks wonderful. Not much else to say here. If you’ve seen the previews you’ve pretty much seen the movie. Also, the title kind of says it all.
Regardless, the film is fun and definitely worth a look (those sharply animated apes are awesome to behold – same for the carnage in their last act rampage).
(Revolution is no barrel of monkeys!)
What else?
Well, Loyal Reader, it just happens to be my name day! Yep! I’m thirty-seven years young (though I don’t feel a day over twenty-two). My lovely family spoiled me with new books (Jay-Z’s DECODED and Chuck Klosterman’s THE VISIBLE MAN), and ice cream cake, and dinner (PF Chang’s) and that ape movie. Awesome.
Talk about feeling special. Not only did my wife and daughter spoil me rotten, my Facebook friends came out in droves with birthday wishes. Pretty cool, huh? Life is good.
I really, really want to comment on each post, but I’ve gotten over two hundred sentiments and after personally thanking half of them, well, unless I want to spend ALL NIGHT responding, I had no choice but to let it go. I’ll definitely be sending out a mass thank you message (which I intend to do as soon as I’m finished here). Thank you, thank you, thank you Facebookers! I appreciate you taking the time to stop by my wall.
(Yikes! How cool is that?)
Well, tomorrow is officially the first day of school. The kids will be out en mass. I’m excited, and a little nervous, and even though it’s my birthday, I need to blow out these candles and turn in early so I’m well rested for the big day. This party animal is getting too old. But that’s A-okay. Being thirty-something rules!
Posted in General, News, Raves on August 8, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
Back to the grind, Loyal Reader. Except, lucky, lucky, lucky Me, my job is anything but a grind. Teaching high school English is way too much fun. True, it can be frustrating. Kids – my primary clients – are often times certifiable. They can really work you over. Working with a pack of crazies (who like to gang up on you in their illogical arguments) can be dangerous. You have stay one step ahead. Jedi skills help. Mind tricks, reverse psychology, stone cold stares (that’s a fun one), feigning madness, cultivating and shaping unease – the list goes on and on. The tactics are endless. The key is to employ them while holding on to your sanity and not letting teen idiocy get to you. It’s all about having fun with it. Wisdom bests raw youth every time. Oh, and remember, you are in control.
Which absolutely rules.
When are we ever in control?
Your classroom. Your rules. Your spin on the curriculum. It’s mighty empowering.
(I work right here.)
Anyways, today, my fellow teachers and the staff of my high school returned from summer vacation for the first workday of the school year. The kids don’t show up until Wednesday, so we have morning meetings and then we get the rest of the day to prepare our classrooms for the impending onslaught of smelly teens. So then, after a little red tape it’s off to our rooms (or, should your room be all ready to go, it’s off to wherever you desire – control, baby – yep!).
Look, I’ve worked retail, and waited tables, and then after college I dove head first into a business marketing career, and I’ve gotta say, compared to what I do now, these jobs sucked big time. Meeting up with a crew of teachers after two months of restful vacation feels good. It’s just like back in the day when we were kids re-convening for the first day of school. Hugs and handshakes abound. Sure, we all wish we had another month to sleep in and live each day as if it were a Saturday, but hell! We’ve all just had two months off. Two months!
Working marketing or retail, I was lucky if I got two weeks vacation time. And worse, while away, the work continued to pile up. It’s nice how we all go away and then come back and everything just sort of resets. It’s the same with Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Spring breaks. We complain, but alas, we jest. The majority of us (there are a few burn outs in every bunch) know how lucky we are. We appreciate the time off and are anxious to be back. Most of us actually miss the kids and look forward to guiding them through the year.
Quick break! Check out some inspirational teacher talk from a poetry slam champ…
Jealous? Of course you are, but don’t fret. Did I mention we have to get up at the butt crack of dawn? Or how about having a bad day? Nothing makes a crappy day worse than obnoxious hordes of teenagers getting on your nerves.
Pros and cons aside, walking those high school hallways always feels a bit surreal. An odd nostalgia tugs at the heartstrings.
It’s weird spending my youth on one side of the fence and living my adulthood on the other. Knowing what I know, seeing how things work on the other side of the curtain, I can’t help but to smile. Man, I was sooo stupid as a teen! The small army of teachers, administrators, principals, and custodians, and lunch ladies, running the institution are regular folks that cuss, and slack, and goof off just like the kids they’re trying to whip into shape. Some are cool. Some are dorks. Some are good. Some are evil.
(Control, good sir, control.)
Not that the students seem to care. Sometimes it feels like they don’t see us as people. We’re Authority Figures. Automatons. Shells. Self absorption (the most evil of all teenage shortcomings) strips us of our humanity. This is a bit much for some (statistical evidence suggests that most teachers move on to something else – be it administration or a different field all together – within four years time). They freak out and forget that kids are kids. They forget to take a deep breath, flex their thick skin, embrace patience, and draw understanding from deep within. Successful teachers need limitless amounts of intestinal fortitude.
I love this song, Loyal Reader. All hail mid 80s Van Halen!
Perez Hilton, slide your big butt over…MLC is in the house!
(no offense, Mr. Hilton, I just thought that was a funny opener.)
A news agency (of sorts – visit thecomicscomic.com and see for yourself) pulled a quote from my blog review of the Katt Williams show at the Ontario, Ca, Improv on Friday night (Claws Out). This isn’t cause for too much excitement, but as a struggling writer it’s nice to see my words in print wherever they may be.
Big ups to The Comic’s Comic for recognizing good stuff when they see it! 😉
(True that.)
That’s not much of a blog now is it?
I know, I know, but it’s Sunday and I’ve been working hard on a promotional Michael Louis Calvillo Must Be Destroyed! magnet (available at a horror writer’s convention near you), and I’m ready to shut off my brain for some BIG BROTHER, and then a little CURB.
Posted in News, Rants, Raves on August 6, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
Saw the Katt man last night…
Whoa! I’m not sure what the hell was going on.
The Man came out dressed in rodeo-militant-raver wear complete with spike studded captain’s hat and green lights attached to the front bill. A bull’s head skeleton, those old western kind, adorned his mic stand. And when he spoke, it was as if his spirit had been through the meat-grinder. He was beat down, Loyal Reader.
There were funny bits, sure, there were smart-psycho genius funny jokes, but his morose cadence and Presence with a capital ‘P’ were lethargic at best. The otherwise hyper, motormouth was pausing between bits while the crowd fell into awkward silences. One Chicano man freaked out after about an hour of the odd, scatological weirdness. He was so irritated he threw up his arms and screamed, “THIS SHOW SUCKS!” on his way out the door.
Williams instantly came to life, cussing out the heckler, baiting him, threatening to drop kick him right there on the stage. The place felt alive for a few electric minutes, but then Katt went into more of that slow drawl, drawing out stranger and stranger bits. Punch lines came at odd intervals. More people got up and left (this happened at a clip of about one or two couples every fifteen to twenty minutes).
(A picture is worth a thousand words.)
My party was getting antsy (and we’re generally a pretty patient bunch). But the vibe in the room never improved. It soured and that was that. We ended up leaving after about two hours, frustrated that we didn’t get what we thought we were going to. There were some brilliant bits sprinkled throughout the set. Katt Williams, as nutso as he seems, is still an endearing figure. Throughout the set he kept referencing his wealth and then bringing up crap like how Dave Chappelle walked away from 50 million because the Devil Media Outlet he worked for was only giving him 10% of five hundred million dollars. Because he walked away, the Media Outlet made it look like he was smoking crack. They asked the public, how can you walk away from 50 million dollars! They insinuated that you’d have to be on crack to pass on 50 million bucks!
Nobody really understood the financial chaos going on. Nobody listened to the details, they just figured Dave went crazy. The Media Outlet was screwing him over. All of this paired with the onset of mega-fame? Fuggedaboutit. The poor dude just needed to get away. This is all fine and good and interesting even, I’m glad Katt cleared it up, but the material wasn’t necessarily funny. It made me feel like Katt was the one in need of a relaxing getaway.
(Avoid the sanitarium at all costs! Stay sane!)
The comic delivered his material with such a quiet scorn that everything felt sharp and kind of uneasy. He kept putting himself down, shaking his head and letting us know how unfunny he was. He reasoned that if Dave Chappelle was Number One, and Dave Chappelle doesn’t even work, then why should Katt? If the funniest guy in the world wasn’t functioning, why should Katt? I understand what he was trying to say, but it still seems kind of illogical. You’re you, not Chappelle! You don’t have to share his pain. Besides who cares how much you empathize with Chappelle (who I love just as much)? I want some fun jokes, dammit!
(Uncomfortable comedy)
The jokes came, but they came implanted deep inside confessional grenades that kept exploding in routines about his “over-structured” childhood as a Jehovah’s Witness or Conspiracy Theorist paranoia about Muslims, and celebrity assassinations, and Bible stories. The man even attacked evolution, claiming it didn’t exist because the dinosaurs never adapted. Hmmm. Can anyone say cataclysm? There are some things you just can’t adapt to.
The off night resulted in some interesting moments. I still think Katt is an incredible comedian, deserving of all the money, and awards, and honors, he has earned (and can’t seem to stop talking about), but he seems to be going through some burnt out phase where touring is wearing him down. Maybe he was just tired. I think it goes deeper. I think Celebrity is making him sick. Money is losing its luster. His life is probably ready to evolve into a new phase (believe that).
I have faith Katt will get his mind right. He’s super smart. Set pieces on The Rodeo and Muddin’ and White People and Prison and Life in General, were as deep and inspired as they were funny. His rant on cancer was killer (I suppose I’m a little biased here). He’s definitely one of the special ones, I just think he ‘s in dire need of a rest. As rich as he boasts to be he can afford it. So please, Mr. Katt Williams, fly away. Lounge on a tropical beach. Love your blessed life. Speed talk your way back into our good graces!
Posted in Books, General, News on August 3, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
Nothing beats free books. I don’t know what it is, but I love them! A few years back, my wife and I spent a chunk of money on a trip to check out BEA (Book Expo America) – we didn’t have to fly, but we got a hotel room, and meals, and paid for our BEA registrations, but in the end I was happy as a clam lugging home armful upon armful of free books.
Beautiful, free, hardcover books!
We surely paid more than the cost of the free books for the overall experience, the weekend was far from a wash, but something about my shiny, new novels kept me smiling every time I’d recap for friends. “Man, my arms were so sore from all those free books!” Wonderful.
Anyway, today’s your lucky day, Loyal Reader! I’m gonna give away a couple of signed, PC (publisher’s copies) edition hardcovers of DEATH & DESIRE IN THE AGE OF WOMEN!
Now, they’re not exactly free, they’re the prizes in my first ever, hopefully annual, Free Books are Better than Almost Any Other Thing in the World Contest. Should this sort of thing get you fired up, all you need to do is post a review of any thing you have read by me on Amazon, or Facebook, or Goodreads, or Horror-Mall, or anywhere else with decent traffic that accepts reviews. The book is worth $55 bucks, I’ll pick up the shipping, and even throw in some Michael Louis Calvillo Must Be Destroyed swag, while packing the winner’s prize for the mail.
(Bloodletting did one heck of a job on the production – The finished book is very pretty)
So whadda you say?
Just send me a link to your review and you will automatically be put into a random drawing for the book(s). I’m still small potatoes as an author (the reason these reviews mean so much) and chances are the contest won’t be super crowded, so your odds of winning are pretty good. If I love, love, love your entry, but it is not one of the winning, random draws, I might find it in my heart to send you some sort of freebie for your efforts (I have some PC editions of other work lying around here). Blow me away and I’ll be generous.
Oh, and if you aren’t thrilled with my stuff, that’s okay, your opinion is your opinion, lukewarm to bad reviews also qualify (though they have the potential to hurt my feelings).
Send all entries to mlcalvillo@yahoo.com. Deadline is October 30th, 2011. Winners will be announced on Halloween and prizes will be sent immediately thereafter. Please feel free to repost this and get the word out, I’d really appreciate any and all help.
Posted in Books, News on July 19, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
The slime-encrusted beast is finally loose!
Eight copies of my latest (greatest?) novel, DEATH & DESIRE IN THE AGE OF WOMEN, have slithered their way home. Thanks to Bloodletting Books for doing such a bang-up job. Have you seen those endpapers? The gorgeous cover art? If you’ve got yours (thank you very much for the support) – you know what I’m talking about. If not, good luck. I’ve warned you and warned you and warned you…
This particular edition (no plans for any others as of yet) is limited to only 150 copies. You can try to order one from the Horror-Mall, but once they’re gone you’ll have to take your chances on e-bay or search the web and weather the collector’s market. Limited editions of this quality go up in value pretty quickly.
I want to spend a little time on the origin of the book, maybe share an excerpt and then break it down and detail its production, but today is all about pictures! Feast your eyes…
(The WORM unleashed!)
(Love that killer Alex McVey cover.)
(Eight contributor’s copies)
(Those beautiful endpapers – the picture doesn’t do them justice)
Stay tuned for an in-depth discussion detailing DEATH & DESIRE’s maturation from dreamy seedling to limited edition hardcover. In the meantime, I’m going to salivate over my contributor’s copies and bask in the glory of the worm!
First off, continuing yesterday’s discussion, the final Harry Potter film, THE DEATHLY HALLOWS (Part Two), does exactly what it needs to do. I think the preceding film is a bit better, but things wrap up nicely (nice being the operative word here). That is all. Though I’ll defend HP from those too cool to give the little guy a break, I’m by no means a super-fan or anything like that. The series is done and all is well (my kid has been following them since the age of six, and now, at sixteen, this particular entry feels more like a milestone than a been-there, done-that fantasy).
Okay, the Potter-verse behind me, the real purpose of today’s blog is my shiny, sexy, new, black XBOX 360 slim. Yep, Loyal Reader, I finally freed my old school box from my home theater set up and traded on up. Gamestop (those greedy pigs) gave me a $110 bucks in trade, so I shelled out just shy of $200 for the new system, but hot damn! I’ve got 250gb (over the old box’s pathetic 20 gigs). I can also plug the new console in via an HDMI cable as opposed to the old system’s component only outputs. It’s also quieter and smaller and matches my hulking (by comparison), shiny, black PS3. Other than that it’s the same old thing, but I’m geeking out nonetheless.
What else? Oh, DEATH & DESIRE IN THE AGE OF WOMEN, my Bloodletting Books release, has been showing up on doorstops and in mailboxes across this great nation, but I’ve still yet to get my contributor’s copies. Eight of them have been shipped my way, except mail service ’round here seems slower than elsewhere. Ugh! Frustrating! I was hoping to snap a few pictures and post them up, and I will, but it looks like it’ll have to wait until Monday (providing the mail delivers the goods).
For those of you that have received your copy (copies for you big spenders), I can’t thank you enough for the support. I pour my heart and soul into these things and that you’d take the time to read them means the world. Be sure to let me know what you think about DEATH & DESIRE and stay tuned for updates on upcoming works (7BRAINS and BIRDBOX should both be dropping by late summer – deadlines don’t always pan out, but according to my publishers that’s the current plan).
Speaking of video games, check out my man, Dave Chappelle playing some GTA
Since I was very small (or should I say, ‘Since I was very young,’ seeing as how I stand a whopping 5’6″) I wanted to be a filmmaker. I spent my youth reading movie magazines and daydreaming about writing, directing, editing, and marketing films. Like with the book thing, I fantasized about genre work. No dramas, or comedies, or documentaries here, only crazy horror and dark fantasy and the occassional sci-fi freakout. I took these dreams as far as college. I spent a year enrolled in Cal State Northridge’s RTVF (Radio, Television, & Film) program, made a few shorts, did a little, uncomfortable networking, and then promptly changed my major to Creative Writing and got the hell out of Dodge.
Why?
Well, for the first time I got a whiff of reality. While watching movies rules, making movies freaking sucks.
Films are collaborative efforts. They cost a crap load of money to make. And most of the people involved in the industry are Royal Douche Bags. The thing is, I like to work alone – I need to work alone (save for working with another writer – I can handle that from time to time) – I don’t do well with dumbass directors and producers and investors who know nothing about what I am trying to do, who don’t really understand my blood-soaked vision, trying to stick their fat, greasy fingers where they don’t belong. Also, I was broke and developing film was damn expensive (I suppose the digital explosion had made things a little easier in this regard). And lastly, I don’t like working with Royal Douche Bags – they’re full of rank air and suck the joy right out of the art. Writing – novels – not abbreviated screenplays – helps me get my Art on, and the complete, creative control feeds the ego and keeps me sane (not to mention it’s free – all I have to do is fire up the computer and start hacking away).
(But not I. Get back to work lazy kitty kat!!!)
Still, movies rock, I’m a cinema addict, and I keep dreaming about crafting a feature done right, and I can’t help but to hope (yet I watch my filmmaking buddies go crazy and think, no thanks). Maybe one day I’ll have the opportunity to do something Auteur style, an MLC joint from beginning to end. In the meantime, though the majority of my career aspirations are spent writing creepy novels (and the like), I still write the occasional screenplay and have done a bit of work with up-and-coming filmmaker, Robert W. Filion.
I met Mr. Filion at Fangoria’s Weekend of Horrors a couple of years back and we’ve forged a nice working relationship. His zombie short, SEE THE DEAD , was playing the festival. I checked it out and was impressed. He read my book, AS FATE WOULD HAVE IT, liked it, and then asked me if I would be interested in working together. Though I was still leery of film and didn’t really want to get involved, I figured what the hell, I want to write for a living and the only way to make enough money to support a family is to just do it. If you throw enough stuff against the wall, something is bound to stick, right? I told Robert I’d be happy to team up. We laid out a few plans and got to work. Since then (about two years ago), we’ve made a few nice short films (my screenwriting, Robert’s production, direction, editing, money, everything else).
(Don’t forget – It’s all about that source material!)
The first short we put together was based upon my story, Chekov’s Children (from my collection, Stoker finalist BLOOD & GRISTLE). I wrote the story back in college during an exercise where we were to emulate a classic author’s style. I modeled my piece after Anton Chekhov. What struck me about Anton’s work was how he mastered capturing a small moment, loading it up with all kinds of subtext and undertone and metaphoric detail, then he’d let the vignette play out until it came to an abrupt end that gave zero resolution but filled the reader’s head with possibility. He let you fill in the ending, often forcing you not to just imagine what came next in the current action, but what happened to his characters’ throughout the rest of their lives. Good stuff. My story came out pretty cool. Whereas Anton was a true master, I was more than happy to accept a young padwan-in-training role and do what I could with my growing powers. There’s some subtlety, some metaphoric detail, but it’s mostly overt, college-kid, A-for-effort type craft. Not bad, worthy of publication and a few kicks, but hot damn, subtlety is tough, man. It’s a skill I still work at every day. I nailed it back then in a raw fashion. And though I still work at it, Loyal Reader, my powers have grown exponentially since then (pick up some of my new work and prepare to have your mind blown – subtlely of course). (Isn’t subtle and it’s brother subtlety, a pair of great words? The way they flow? What they mean? God, I loves me some language). Anyway here’s Filion’s short film. I think he did an excellent job (the actress playing “Ivana” is pitch perfect). Enjoy. Comment. Praise. Kill. Get your Ebert on…
The following video rocks, but be sure to go out and read the source (via BLOOD & GRISTLE).
Michael Louis Calvillo Must Be Destroyed 