Archive for the General Category

I Want My Art TV

Posted in General, Raves, Television on July 30, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

Thirty years ago when I was a culturally sophisticated six year old, MTV was born. My little, peanut of a brain was already forming criticisms and running an internal ticker that beeped along kind of like my own pre-version of THE SOUP long before the idea of TALK SOUP actually became THE SOUP. I’d watch sharply cut video after sharply cut video (they used to show lots and lots of music videos back in the day) and form long-lasting opinions about artists based upon looks and mannerisms alone. Suddenly, Image and Vision became an extremely important part of the package.


(I’m soooo sophisticated!)

Those poor, hairy, ugly bands that scored huge hits in the seventies were instantly irrelevant. Though murderous for the unwashed masses with stars in their eyes, this shift in popular media was / is a good thing and a bad thing. Ugly artists have to work all that much harder (which makes sense – they probably should work harder to make up for their lack of sex appeal). Pretty, but talentless confections keep registering as embarassing blips on our cultural barometer (making excellent fodder for MTV / VH1’s I LOVE THE 70s, or 80s, or – insert decade here – trash talking shows). No worries, though. Some of the pretty ones may not deserve the success, but the lasting stuff will stick whether you look like Lyle Lovett (what was Julia thinking?) or Will Smith (who is so likeable he can mug his way through any video and make it worth watching). So then, our musical landscape may have shifted, except what we have lost in primal, raw, unshaved talent, we’ve gained in the advancement of the visual arts.


(One of thousands of MTV logo art installations used over the years)

MTV, God love ’em, has been pushing visual artistry since day one. I love their promo packages, odd commercials, and mini bits of the avant garde. Everybody gives them credit (and then derides them) for bringing technique like fast-cutting to films and television (which again is a good thing and a bad thing), but they’ve given us much, much more than hyper-kinetic camera work. The wide berth of interesting projects from cutting edge animation, to sketch comedy, to reality TV, all intercut with clever, sometimes alienating (depending on age and taste I suppose), but always eye-catching pop art, has shaped the way we look at our world and live our lives. We have become MTV and in return MTV has become us.

Tuning into today’s MTV as opposed to say…1986’s MTV is quite a bit different. You more likely to catch an episode of SIXTEEN & PREGNANT than see the latest video hits, but that dedication to art remains. The title credits tilt askew, or the underground, lo-fi, ultra-hip garage artist laying down the pulsing soundtrack behind the dust-ups and love-ins on their reality productions, hum along to to the beat of their own, futuro-art drummer. The between-show-stuff that seems head scratchingly weird or too strange will probably continue to feel odd in the distant future, but the unnerving abnormality doesn’t date itself. It’s too kooky to age. That’s art, Loyal Reader, take it or leave it.


(Changing the world. Heck, Beavis taught me how to dance!)

VH1Classic (best channel ever) is running thirty years worth of MTV nostalgia all weekend long and I can’t pull myself away (and I suggest you tune in). They’re running extended clips and full shows from REMOTE CONTROL (an episode featuring a younger, punkier RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS as contestants no less) to the ever unimpressed DARIA, to memorable performances from the network’s annual Music Awards. I watched an old segment of THE MAXX, some of George Plympton’s trippy facial animations, FASHIONABLY LOUD with Kid Rock and runway models doing their thing during spring break, Jimmy Fallon opening an MTV Music Awards with a medley of spot on musical impressions, and Chris Rock telling another MTV Music Award’s audience to “Get to church!” after watching Marilyn Manson perform The Beautiful People (in a thong – which is sooo not pretty).

See for yourself…

A Grueling Day at the Spa

Posted in General, Raves on July 26, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

Today, Michelle and I spent some time at Glen Ivy, a resort spa, hot springs near our house. I’m chlorinated, ex-foliated, and sooo relaxed I can barely keep my eyes open. We basked in pools of mineral water and then rubbed mud all over our bodies. I found a spa with a nice, firm jet and set about obliterating the stiff bundle of muscles and nerves plaguing my lower back.


(Working out those kinks)

I feel like the Calgon lady after a relaxing bath…

I know, I know. First THE BACHELORETTE, and now a day spa? What’s next? Getting my nails done?

Easy, easy, Loyal Reader. Just remember, I have an awesome beard and I am the exact opposite of Metrosexual Man (no offense if metrosexualism is your thing). But look, if you’re feeling a bit rundown, you owe it to yourself to visit one of these spas. This isn’t a male / female thing. This a human aches and pains thing.

My only complaint is expense. A day’s admission ain’t cheap. But what are you going to do? Public swimming pools really suck. I don’t appreciate the sweating, squawking crowds (our local pool – the one we pay HOA fees to use – is always overrun with large families from other neighborhoods). Glen Ivy is much quieter. It has a bunch of pools spread throughout the resort. They are all powered by mineral water from a natural hot spring and are filled with old ladies who have nothing better to do than bake in the sun and wrinkle up (further) in the water. Completely private alcoves are tough to come by (the place was pretty crowded for a Tuesday afternoon), but at least the oldies keep to themselves. Besides, nobody is belly flopping or playing chicken while I’m trying to get my chill on. Oh, and like I mentioned earlier, they have a mud pool where you can pack it on, bake in the sun, and then rinse off. Your skin will love you for the attention.

Curses! My fingers are just too pruned to go on.

Good night then, Loyal Reader. ’til tomorrow, where the subject will probably encompass something a little more apropos with my horror writer status.

This has nothing to do with nothing, but it’s good for a laugh. I feel I owe you something for dropping on by. If you haven’t seen it, it’s one of the funniest viral videos I’ve ever seen.  If you’ve experienced it, be sure to share it with a friend.

Okay then, Loyal Reader, I proudly present…The Honey Badger.

Magic: The Blabbering

Posted in General on July 24, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

This whole Nerds Are Cool thing is pretty lame. Nerds aren’t cool. Nerds are socially awkward weirdo types who deserve a good trash canning. They dress funny, talk funny, and ruin grading curves. Now, if a nerd is a nerd because they are economically challenged (thrift shop high-waters) or because they are mentally challenged, I’d defend them to the death and stink eye any jerk for making fun, but if a nerd is a nerd because they embrace intellect and shun social relevance then, well, they’re kind of getting what they bargained for. This new nerd dawning, the dominance of things like Comicon and geek culture, takes the best bits of nerd-kind – superheroes and video games and genre fare – and feeds them to the mainstream for all to enjoy. This is cool. Pushing your glasses up the bridge of your nose while correcting someone’s grammar or reciting pointless facts is not. Embrace all that’s awesome about nerdiness, but kill that inner dork.

If you sit in public and play the Wizards of the Coast card game Magic: The Gathering, I might snicker and call you a doofus. If you play behind closed doors and make mention of it only when asked, then it’s cool, knock yourself out (you, dork).

Hey! Easy, easy!

I happen to be one of those that play Magic behind closed doors.

And you know what? My wife, who is superhot, plays too! (Take that geeky stereotypes!)

We don’t play regularly, but every so often we get a hankering for some nerdy goodness and dig out our cards. To be fair to Michelle, she only plays Magic because her husband plays Magic and she’s cool like that. If I dig something, however nerdy, she’s willing to give it a shot. We’ve even played RISK a couple of times over the years (which always amounts to evil – my girl is way too competitive and the game runs way too long, and by the end we are way too tired and way too frustrated).


(How can something that looks like this not be cool?)

I started playing Magic when I was about nineteen, twenty years old. I worked in a video game store (PS One, Sega Genesis, Super Nintendo, and Panasonic’s short lived 3D0, were the systems of the era) with this dude named Shawn. Shawn was what you’d call a classic nerd. He wore glasses and tucked his flannel shirts into his high water jeans. He was in his late twenties to early thirties. He loved video games. One day, during a slow afternoon, he taught me how to play Magic. I’d frown at the kids getting their game on at the back of the local comics shop, and I frowned at Shawn when he offered to show me what it was all about, but I liked the (PG-rated) Heavy Metal style artwork on the cards so I gave it a try.

Wow! Though a little complex at first, once you grasp the rules, the game rocks.

I taught most of my friends who taught most of their friends and we have all been playing ever since (though now that we are old men, we only get our games going once or twice a year).


(Hot Saturday night action!)

Michelle and I hit Target this evening and snagged four new Magic decks. It’s been a good, long while and we figured it’d be fun to stay in and play a few rounds (no new movies of interest to wile away the time). Once I’m finished blogging we are going to throw down. She beats me all the time – I mentored her and like any good Sith, she’s turned it on me (and gloats when she wins). Perhaps tonight will be my night?

Okay then, tomorrow we’ll get back to deconstructing The WORM (here’s Part One in case you missed it). Good night, Loyal Reader, send a prayer my way – the energy may give my wizarding ways that extra oomph.

R.I.P Ms. Winehouse. “We only said goodbye with words.” Great stuff…

Fair Food…

Posted in General, Rants on July 23, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

…is as crazy as anything I’ve ever encountered. They have deep fried butter! Butter?!!! They also fry Kool-Aide, frog’s legs (?), Oreoes, Klondike Bars, Avocados (doesn’t sound too bad), Twinkies, and a chicken sandwich with Krispy Kreme Doughnuts for bread (holy crap!). What have we become? Lines remained steady all night. Since I would eat such food only if it were part of some Fear Factor like show for cash and prizes – there’s no way I’m paying $6.75 for Kool-Aide saturated puffs of fried batter – I kept it simple with a nice corndog.


(Fair goers love, love , love chocolate covered bacon. Seriously.)

My fam and I just got back from the OC Fair where we walked the midway, checked out the infomercial quality sales displays, and watched an awesomely joyous pig race. Afterwards, fair staff handed out coupons for free bacon (seriously). Those little running pigs are the cutest things on four legs. How can anyone fathom eating such an adorable beast? (to which I confess – I eat pork here and there – Michelle NEVER eats it, which curbs my pork intake, but I’ll wolf it down when I can get it).


(The coolest thing ever.)

I must apologize, Loyal Reader, other than my little rant on fried fair food, I’ve got nothing else. I’ve lured you over here for a post as light and airy as the middle of a Churro. Sorry. But I promised I’d write a blog EVERY SINGLE DAY. So here I am. It’s already two minutes after midnight and as much as I’d like to spend a few hours blogging on some topic or another (finding pictures, linking links), I have to spend the next hour decompressing and then heading off to bed. The missus and I are trying to temper how late we stay up. School is starting soon and we have to start getting up early!!!

Okay then, good night. Oh, and if you haven’t had the chance yet, be sure to go back and read past blogs. Comment on them if you find them interesting and maybe we can discuss some stuff?

Fried bacon and gravy? Yum?

Geek Love

Posted in Books, General, News, Raves on July 16, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

First off, continuing yesterday’s discussion, the final Harry Potter film, THE DEATHLY HALLOWS (Part Two), does exactly what it needs to do. I think the preceding film is a bit better, but things wrap up nicely (nice being the operative word here). That is all. Though I’ll defend HP from those too cool to give the little guy a break, I’m by no means a super-fan or anything like that. The series is done and all is well (my kid has been following them since the age of six, and now, at sixteen, this particular entry feels more like a milestone than a been-there, done-that fantasy).

Okay, the Potter-verse behind me, the real purpose of today’s blog is my shiny, sexy, new, black XBOX 360 slim. Yep, Loyal Reader, I finally freed my old school box from my home theater set up and traded on up. Gamestop (those greedy pigs) gave me a $110 bucks in trade, so I shelled out just shy of $200 for the new system, but hot damn! I’ve got 250gb (over the old box’s pathetic 20 gigs). I can also plug the new console in via an HDMI cable as opposed to the old system’s component only outputs. It’s also quieter and smaller and matches my hulking (by comparison), shiny, black PS3. Other than that it’s the same old thing, but I’m geeking out nonetheless.

What else? Oh, DEATH & DESIRE IN THE AGE OF WOMEN, my Bloodletting Books release, has been showing up on doorstops and in mailboxes across this great nation, but I’ve still yet to get my contributor’s copies. Eight of them have been shipped my way, except mail service ’round here seems slower than elsewhere. Ugh! Frustrating! I was hoping to snap a few pictures and post them up, and I will, but it looks like it’ll have to wait until Monday (providing the mail delivers the goods).

For those of you that have received your copy (copies for you big spenders), I can’t thank you enough for the support. I pour my heart and soul into these things and that you’d take the time to read them means the world. Be sure to let me know what you think about DEATH & DESIRE and stay tuned for updates on upcoming works (7BRAINS and BIRDBOX should both be dropping by late summer – deadlines don’t always pan out, but according to my publishers that’s the current plan).

 
Speaking of video games, check out my man, Dave Chappelle playing some GTA

Blah, Blah, Blog…

Posted in Books, General on July 8, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

Welcome to my new blog. I’ve been wanting to start one up for sometime, but have been a bit hesitant. You see, it’s a big commitment, and I’ve always figured if I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna do it right. That means blogging a little somethin’-somethin’ EVERY SINGLE DAY! Now, while I’m a fairly interesting guy with fairly interesting things to say, I don’t know if I am EVERY DAY interesting. Alas, never fear loyal reader, I’m up for the challenge and if you do me the solid of stopping in on a daily basis, I will try my very best to do you the solid of posting something worth your while.

Okay then, presenting Blog Post Numero Uno!

First off, allow myself to introduce…myself…

Friends and enemies alike call me Michael Louis Calvillo. I’m a husband, a father, a teacher, and an author of freaky horror fiction. The author bit is the main reason for this blog. It’s my intention to use this site to talk craft and give some insight into what it takes to get published (along with the arduous task of marketing and selling books). If there is something in particular you would like to know about author stuff, please ask via comments or send me an e-mail and I’ll do what I can. In addition to writerly info, I’ll blah, blah, blog on whatever else catches my fancy (or irks the crap out of me).

All right then, see you EVERY DAY! (don’t worry – it’ll be good for both of us) (I promise).

While you wait, check out Ronith, the bestest impersonator in the whole wide world!