Archive for the Raves Category

Your Brain Wants To Chill With JACK AND JILL

Posted in General, Movies, Raves on November 24, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

In one sequence, Jill, Adam Sandler’s nails-on-a-chalkboard Tootsie, is left sitting alone at dinner, as Sandler alumnus, Norm MacDonald, her blind date, excuses himself to the restroom. We feel bad for Jill as she waits and waits for her date to return.

An hour or so passes. She stalls the wait staff, but it’s pretty obvious she’s been ditched. She makes a sad face. It’s broadly comedic (and even a little bit heart-breaking).

Before leaving the restaurant, Jill checks the men’s bathroom, calling her date’s name. She checks the stalls. The bathroom is empty. Jill sags her frumpy shoulders and hangs her gigantic head and mopes out of the frame. We feel for the poor lug. Sandler actually has us caring about this insane cartoon of a character. This Jill is abrasive, and annoying, and silly, but she’s nice and doesn’t deserve the abuse.

Never fear. Here’s where Sandler’s genius becomes apparent. Even though he has us feeling for Jill, he knows we care little about caring about characters. That’s for Real Movies. This is an Adam Sandler movie, Loyal Reader. You better believe it that the moment sad-sad Jill leaves, the camera pans up and there’s good old Norm hanging upside down on a flourescent lighting fixture, clinging for dear life, evading Jill like Bugs Bunny out smarting Elmer Fudd.


(For your consideration…)

Like all Adam Sandler films, JACK AND JILL is a sloppy affair. It jumps from scene to scene, sometimes incomprehensible, as settings and situations rub shoulders without resolve or narrative cohesion. Reaction shots punctuate, rather, intrude upon the action. Lapses in time become the norm. If you bother thinking back about particular scenes, you’ll quickly realize how little context matters. Still, though the movie rambles, and clips, and sputters like something rabid and wild and begging to be put down, one thing remains consistent throughout – no matter what – The Joke reigns supreme.

Everything in the movie is there to serve The Joke.

Characters and plot fall at its funny, knobby feet.

Those lapses in time (the movie takes place between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve without much mention of Christmas or Chanukah) shift and unspool in service of The Joke.

From dining rooms to cruise ships, the settings are all set-ups for punchlines.

And that’s why, despite their shaggy ridiculousness, Sandler films work. They’re funny. Disembowel them all you want, at the end of the day, you’re going to laugh. Even cooler, with his latest crop of films, Sandler has figured how to make family films that truly entertain all members of the family.

There was a blip in time where Sandler seemed uncertain of which way to go. Pg-13 fare like YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN ramped up the sleazy, sex jokes – it still worked (just like DEUCE BIGALOW, and GRANDMA’S BOY, and the recent bomb, BUCKY LARSON), the film was still pretty hilarious, but it’s not something you could watch with your teenage daughter. His PG comedies have managed to clean it up, but they keep that low-brow stupidity. The jokes still work. The comedy doesn’t have to be dirty to click, just dumb. Lucky for the man, this formula seems to work well on audiences of all ages.

So roll your eyes and shake your head all you want. Be critical. I’ll take my laughs where I can get them. More please, Mr. Sandler

These Nerds Be Syndicated!

Posted in General, Raves, Television on November 15, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

And the meek shall inherit the earth

I am watching a scene in which two main characters have been pantsed by a Meathead. They have no choice but to walk home in their underwear. One wears boxers, the other briefs. When they get home, they fall back into their standard, meaningless, sitcom story. It’s pleasant and innocuous. I laughed aloud more than a few times. I like that it features nerds. I’ve watched it about twenty times. It’s officially my new favorite show.

It’s hard to start a new show. I have a busy DVR. Working something new into the mix is tough. Most sitcoms start bad, bad, bad. They take a while to build steam and for their central characters to gell. These 20 episodes of THE BIG BANG THEORY took a bit to sink in. I watched the first one because it was on before Conan O’Brian. Then I kept catching theme before Conan and viola! I dig it.


(Fuzzy, but true…)

I’m still fuzzy with character names (though I have heard them a thousand times, I’m usually watching while blogging or surfing). I definitely know Sheldon. Jim Parson’s super nerd – he’s ridiculous and over the top, but the character is consistent. You start to believe somebody could act that absurd and walk around without getting his ass kicked.

He does this cool, little sidelong snicker, surprising himself as he laughs, that’s weird and then funny and then viral video funny (see the video at the end of this post).

The writing for the show is outlandish and as sitcom-dumb as most every other sitcom, but a lot of the geek references are right on (never mind how I know, I just know!). Most importantly, each of the supporting cast has grown into their characters as well. They form an endearing pack of dorks.

The normal neighbor, originally there for one of the nerds (all of the nerds) to ogle over, has grown into a fully-fledged character. The Chosen Nerd even spends a season or two (I am watching these things in random blocks and sometimes I am uncertain where I am in the timeline) dating the normal chick. They’re friends now. New love interests have been added to spice things up. Another nice touch is how characters get catty, and petty, and jealous, but then end up best friends with their boyfirend’s new girlfriend and on and on…sitcom drama…


(Nerds in action – from the scene I decribed above)

It’s good stuff.

Sheldon does that laugh thing a number of times in this clip. Grammy winning stuff, Loyal Reader…

Don’t Bother Me! I’m Lost In Skyrim!

Posted in General, Raves on November 14, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

If you don’t know what SKYRIM is, you’re much better off.

For those of you in the know, I just killed my first dragon (well, the soldiers this dude, Jarl, sent with me killed my first dragon – one of my arrows helped, but I don’t think it was the fatal shot). I equipped my first shout (aural death-strikes I emit with my mouth!). Things are looking peachy.

One gripe – I tried to enter the college of magic but can’t cast the proper fear spell (need more magicka) to get in. Damn.


(Hit him with some fire then chop that badboy a new one!)

Aside from the central quest, I murdered a bunch of folks and stole a bunch of goods (the guards can’t stop me!).

Also, I just lost about three hours of my life.

See you in the real world, Loyal Reader. Oh, and if you happen to meet my Skyrim avatar, a mean, little Night-Elf named, Kenny Powers (woot, woot!), don’t trust ’em. He’ll knife you in the back, set your dying body aflame, and then take whatever doesn’t burn up in the fire (gold, baby, gold – jems are nice, too).

Looking good…

Worlds Within Worlds

Posted in General, News, Raves on November 13, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

I’m 3 down, Loyal Reader. I know you aren’t trippin’, it probably takes you a while to shuffle through unread posts – there’s tons of content right?

Still, this is not an exit. Oh, no. I’m 3 down? I’ll knock out some new blogs and catch up as I can.

Here we go…

(My home away from home)

A lot has been going on. I started the weekend on Thursday night at midnight standing in line for my long-awaited copy of SKYRIM (a Nerd’s Paradise). My gem of a wife accompanied me. She seemed to enjoy the experience.

Then we got home and I played for two hours. So far so awesome.

Friday we wasted the whole day at City of Hope. BORRRING. Alas, it needs to be done.

Yesterday, Michelle and I went to Hollywood to meet some friends for Sushi and then a few more friends and then a performance of the sublime ASSSCAT, a weekly improv sketch show held at the Upright Citizen Brigade Theater. It’s a steal at 10 bucks. If you need a cocktail, don’t bother the roaming waitress who are not there, just take a pull of whatever you brown bagged in. The staff is cool with it. Just throw out your trash at the end of the show, you dirty animal.


(Don’t Think!)

Next, we kicked it with Logickal, Rex Steel, Wizwaldo, Mrs. Aero, my honey, and the coolest postman around. We had  a blast and in the end, each of my tall, strong friends helped me carry my new guitar and bass amps.

We loaded up quick then hit home, late, for some DVR action and a good night’s sleep.

Right before blogging this blog, Michelle set up my music room. I tested the amps. All is well. Feast your eyes…


(My girl is magic!)

     

(Bringin’ da funk!)

I’ll catch up this week (2 missing threads), until then, rock on!

Disposable Teens

Posted in Music, News, Rants, Raves on November 9, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

Like GWAR, SKINNY PUPPY were part of my love for theatrical, art, horror rock. GWAR were the grimy kings of metal, SKINNY PUPPY held down that industrial angle.

I learned about GWAR right out of high school. SKINNY PUPPY took up about two or three years of my teens. I went on this very teenage, high school, drama, gothy, industrial music kick. I loved the stuff. NINE INCH NAILS ruled (still kind of do). Trent Reznor was my idea of supreme awesomeness.

SKINNY PUPPY were nowhere near as melodic. They didn’t produce too many club bangers. They are kind of like industrial-psycho-monster jazz. Some of their atonal aural scapes and sound collages aren’t really music. I always skipped those (or played them in darkened room or something stupid and teenage). I listened to a few of their albums heavily. Cleanse, Fold and Manipulate, Too Dark Park, and Last Rights were all excellent albums. There are a few of those non-songs, but they just add to the ambiance. SKINNY PUPPY are all about ambiance.


(My favorite SP album)

They perform in costume, but unlike GWAR’s sleazy, outer space, scumdogs, SKINNY PUPPY are way dark.

I went to a show at the Hollywood Palladium in ’92 for their Last Rights tour. I was sixteen. It was my second or third concert ever (My first? RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS at the Greek Theater circa Mother’s Milk). It was scary, Loyal Reader. I was too small for the tumult.


(My second favorite SP album)

Before the show, me and my posse (I rolled with like eight others in a mini-van) gathered front and center and nabbed some prime real estate. As showtime got closer the lights went lower. The music on the PA got weird. They played lots of pre-show metal – Danzig and Ministry and the like, but as the show was about to begin, the band worked in part of their act. Those atonal aural soundscapes weren’t so atonal. They still weren’t music, but the electrified the vibe. The crowd began to swell.

Front and center and short is rough. As soon as the crowd began to lean forward, one huge mob of interlocking legs, stumbling and squeezing the hell out of each other, I basically got squished.

Seconds before they hit the stage the music on the PA cut out. The crowd swelled. The lights went out. The crowd went BONKERS.

More of those aural experiments zapped the air like lightning. Things on stage began to light up. A few TV sets played static then images of the grotesque.

Nivek Ogre (Kevin spelled backwards, folks), SKINNY PUPPY’S front man (they were a trio back then – the lineup has changed over the years), stepped from the darkness in the creepiest, full body monster suit I’ve ever seen. It was awesome.

Alas, I was swept about the arena on a tidal wave of wild gesticulation.

My teenage mind had officially been blown.


 
(Showtime!)

I stuck with them for a couple of years. The last album I tried was 1996’s The Process. They’ve had some stuff since them, but I fell off. The band suffered overdoses and deaths and have regrouped here and there. Last week I picked up their latest, Handover. The jury is still out. I gotta give it a few more listens. So far so good though. Some of it reminds me of their old stuff. One song sounded like Rob Zombie (which is also currently in out Car’s CD changer).

Perhaps it’s time for a Renaissance? Is that gothic, industrial drone compatible with the adult brain or was it merely a phase? Time will tell.

My wife is new to them. She hasn’t gave me her opinion yet, but I think she likes it. I’d ask her, but she’s taking a nap. The woman DOES NOT STOP. It’s finally caught up to her. I’m glad. She’ll get the sleep that she needs and she looks damn adorable sleeping.

Part of SKINNY PUPPY’s (what a lame name though, huh?) appeal is an undercurrent of madness, of dark, romantic madness that gets teenagers all nutzo. I’m too grown for that emo crap, you know?

So then, Loyal Reader, get out there (however you do it) and buy a new album, then listen to it and pick it apart. Blog about it. It’s fun.

Oh, and be sure to include video…

The Greatest Show On Earth!

Posted in General, Music, News, Raves on November 7, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

I was bummed to hear that GWAR guitarist, Cory Smoot, died a few days back. I don’t know all that much about the men behind the masks, but the guy was only 34 years old and it’s a shame he passed on. Talk about one of the coolest jobs ever.

After a few google searches, I’ve learned that Smoot wasn’t the original Flattus Maximus (the character he played in GWAR), nor will he be the last. Dave Brockie, aka Oderus Urungus, GWAR’S outspoken frontman (and original member since 1984), plans on continuing the tour in Smoot’s memory. The mask angle gives a band like GWAR the anonymity (and longevity) to swap musicians as needed.


(Super badass!)

GWAR is more known for their live shows than their song writing ability, but they have some pretty great songs. I prefer the old stuff – their fun debut HELL-O (1984), and their crowning achievement in terms of concept and musicality, SCUMDOGS OF THE UNIVERSE (1990). The two lively sets are filled with funny, sleazy rockers. They are in regular rotation on my iPod.

Of all the art-rock, punk rock, thrash bands, I’ve got floating around my hard drive, GWAR probably gets the most play.

In any case, those live shows?

Those live shows RAWK and ROLL, Loyal Reader.

I’ve seen GWAR about six times. I’ve stood apart from the action, marveling at the spectacle and I’ve been in the trenches, up to my eyeballs in sweat and food coloring.n

The best shows – the ones spent in the heat of an undulating, pushing, throbbing sea of bodies, crowd surfers above, a tornado of moshers whirling a few feet of flesh away – are near religious experiences. You thrash and dance and squeeze, while the band sprays you down with hoses (and gnarly squirt guns, and, um, phallic cannons).


(The calm before the blood soaked storm)

In the midst of all that sweat and latex and sugar sweet blood, GWAR actually rock pretty damn hard. Each time I’ve seen them they’ve gotten heavier and heavier. I like Death Metal thrash about as much as the next guy, but punk metal is more my cup of tea. Their old stuff had that vibe.  Their new stuff grinds, but some of it buries melody with growling instead of singing.  Still, they play their cooler songs every show. Most of them have built-in sketches. The GWAR guys seem to delight in performance art. Their shows aren’t just violent trash – the artistry is sublime.

They used to have a fire dancer (according to Wikipedia she’s since left the band) that did an awesome routine to a killer instrumental.

No matter your tastes in music, if the opportunity to go to a GWAR show presents itself you HAVE to go.

Gor-Gor!!!

Meh Cinema (Let’s Get Together And Watch Paint Dry!)

Posted in Movies, Rants, Raves on November 5, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

Welcome to mediocrity…

I saw two impromptu movies this past week, Loyal Reader. Circumstance pushed us into theaters without much forethought. I love this. Last summer, while trying to get over this damn disease crap (as if I’m battling the common cold or something), we spent a lot of time at home. The money we usually pony up for a nice trip somewhere historical, or tropical, or both, went to easy diversions like movies, and eating out, and the occasional thing.

We saw lots of impromptu movies. We even went to see a movie one fine afternoon and then went to another movie at an entirely different theater in the equally fine evening. The lack of order was very cool. I probably enjoyed certain movies more than I ordinarily would have because of it.

Sitting near my best girl, eating popcorn and Junior Mints, unconcerned about time and responsibility, enveloped by the screen – I can’t think on anything sweeter (I truly can’t).

During the school year, things are quite a bit different. We are superBUSY and we don’t get to the movies as often. We plan. Movies actually mean more because we can’t see them all. We rarely take chances and see things that we might deem as subpar for kicks (like we did ALL summer long). It’s less about the experience and more about the quality of the movie.

Anyway, back on Wednesday, my chemo session (usually six hours of intravenous boredom) got cut short thanks to an extremely uncomfortable allergic reaction (I’ll blog about the drama of it someday). Suddenly, my lovely wife and I found ourselves with a few hours (our kid was at a band event) to kill. Naturally, I brought up the Flickster app on my iPad and we made our way to a showing of PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3.

Meh.

That’s it.

I’m not mad at the film (unless I really start to think about the films I could have watched in its place – but then,  I don’t think anything out there is all that great at the moment anyhow).

It wasn’t bad.

It was…meh.

 


(An exercise in patience – Junior Mints and popcorn help to pass the time…)

I do dig the way each of the PARANORMAL ACTIVITY sequels slowly (ever so SLOWLY) fills in back story that’s useful to appreciating the film that came before it. I thought part 2 was especially clever, running a story that moved concurrently with part 1’s narrative. I have to give the PA team credit for tweaking conventions and doing things differently than the average cash-grab retread.

Still, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, no matter the chronology, or the occasional glimmer of inventiveness, is…well…still, PARANORMAL ACTIVITY. It’s still all about watching NOTHING (hoping for something) for about 80 of the film’s 90 minute run time.

Jumping ahead, the end of PA3, like that of PA1 and PA2, is pretty cool. Like part 2, I like what it does for the other films in the series. It’s interesting (I’m a sucker for demons and the like). Unfortunately, it’s not even a little bit scary. I thought the first and second film did a better job with the creepy factor (utilizing typical household creaks, and groans, punctuated by the occasional massive BOOM for effect). PA3 strives to shock, but the overall impact has withered.

(Note: as a self-proclaimed horror aficionado, it takes a lot to scare me, but I am handicapping my review with the average viewer in mind).

I guess the million dollar question here is would I go out and see PA4?

The sad answer (damn you Hollywood and your filthy, money-making tactics) is ABSOLUTELY!

Despite my many, many quibbles, I’ll definitely turn out for another round. The movies have built up a wonderfully macabre mythology around a simple tale of demonic possession. I want to know what happens next, if only for five to ten minutes of screen time thrills.

So then, go see it, or rent it, but remember, my recommendation comes with a giant MEH tacked to its backside.

Oh, also, the second film we stumbled into, PUSS IN BOOTS, got a small mention in my post EMOTIONAL TWISTER. I can probably come up with more to say, but does the picture really warrant a few hundred words about how average it is. Probably not. If you have a kid in the proper demographic, you could do worse.

 

The weird thing about the PA3 trailer is that it features a number of scenes not in the actual film…

(Let’s Go) Walkin’ In The Cold November Rain

Posted in General, Music, Raves on November 1, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

“Everybody needs some time, on their own…”

Damn, Axle Rose was really on his way, huh? In the short time that he and his seminal hard rock band, GUNS ‘N’ ROSES, held it together, he managed to craft a handful of great songs. The aforementioned, November Rain, Patience, Don’t Cry, Sweet Child O’ Mine, and few above average rockers – It’s So Easy, Paradise City – register as classics. They’ll stay relevant forever. You can’t go wrong with good old rock and roll. The sound is somewhat timeless.


(We hate you almost as much as we hate each other.)

But then eccentricities went and sank the band. I figured Rose would emerge as an important solo artist (whatever name he performed under). I figured he’d keep writing and produce some gems in the process. As evidenced by his output, he was really coming into his own with the rock-opera-ballad type stuff. The fire of youth was giving way to some genuinely accomplished songwriting. That he had (still has?) an entire hell of personal demons only helped. Broken love songs eat happy love songs for a midnight snack.

I read Slash’s tell-all (appropriately titled SLASH) over the summer. The guitar virtuoso spent very few pages on Axle, but the little he wrote isn’t pretty. The frontman comes off as moody, withdrawn, excessive, selfish, and very, very high maintainance.

Anyway, this wasn’t supposed to be a post about Axel Rose, Loyal Reader. I just stole one of his song titles to set the mood for this blog. What I really wanted to write about was the turning of the seasons.


(Get over your Blair Witch phobias and enjoy a nice walk in the woods.)

Unfortunately, it’s gone now. The great things I was going to get out have died and disappeared and now I’m whistling (badly) Patience and trying to bring it back. It’s not coming…

Hmmm. What I wanted to say, in an extremely condensed nutshell – is that I love the fall. I love the cool weather and the crisp air. I love pumpkin spice candles and then pine cones and then the New Year’s mix of smoke, champagne, and holiday treats.

Great songwriters have the power to invoke a feeling that invokes memory that fills us with nostalgia. Something like November Rain and my personal favorite, Patience, do just that. They move me much in the same way Billy Corgan’s version of Stevie Nick’s  Landslide does.


(Take a quick blog break and get all nostalgic – this song almost makes me wanna cry...)

I know this emotional recall and the power of sentimental songwriting is different for everyone, my selections are not your selections, but whoever you are, it works. Right? It’s a shame Rose went off the deep end at the height of his power. He probably had (still has) a few stunners in him.

So then, there’s a song out there that triggers the floodgates and gets those memories percolating. When the moment strikes, get comfortable, close your eyes, and take the trip – your soul will thank you for it.

If we’re on the same wavelength, well, here you go…

Crucial Viewing / Halloween Edition / Round 3 – ICHI THE KILLER

Posted in General, Movies, News, Raves on October 30, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

This selection is probably pretty well-known within genre circles. Folks who like the type of movies we like (jacked up freak shows), covet Takashi Miike’s ballastic psycho-drama-thriller-abstract-torture-horror piece, ICHI THE KILLER.

ROUND 1 & 2 (slots three & two respectively) gave Stuart Gordon some well-deserved love. I dig the guy and think the world of his movies. Still, Takashi Miike, takes the perversity of a Gordon film and turns the shock factor up to 11. His film is an easy, numero uno.

If you haven’t seen it, RUN, don’t walk, and grab yourself a copy of ICHI THE KILLER. If you’ve heard of it, but it’s one of those you haven’t gotten around to, make it a point to do so. It really is that good. Remember, halloween is the perfect opportunity to carve out a few hours with a scary movie.

ICHI is based upon a hyperviolent series of comics. It revolves around a crazed, killing machine that can’t help himself from wreaking havoc (brainwashing comes into play). Worse (or best), he’s highly emotional and is likely to cry hysterically after cleaving you in half with a nasty set of boot-knives. The juxtaposition – bloody, chaotic death followed by girly-man crying, sets an interesting tone. And the cryptic ending (no SPOILERS here) is one for the books.

Things get WILD, Loyal Reader. You’ve been warned…


(This dude is CRAZY, but he’s not Ichi. Ichi is a whole other kind of CRAZY!)

Observe, the trailer…

Crucial Viewing / Halloween Edition / Round 2 – KING OF THE ANTS

Posted in General, Movies, News, Raves on October 30, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo

If you haven’t all ready read ROUND 1, do so and then head on back. We’ll wait…

Okay? Back?

Let’s dispense with further fanfare and get right to my second pick for some Halloween viewing…

I’m sticking with Stuart Gordon for round 2. I chose his freaky DAGON for third place, and am adding his equally freaky, and much more disturbing, KING OF THE ANTS in at number two.

KING OF THE ANTS is a noirsh thriller, but with Gordon’s perverse touch, it becomes a surreal, brutal horror film. It follows a young laborer who is offered fast cash to perform a quick, clean hit on a local community activist. The kid isn’t any kind of killer and everything that can go wrong does. George Wendt (yes, the dude from CHEERS) does a great job playing a heavy who gives our hero some major hell.

It’s based on a book by English author, Charlie Higson. I’ve never read it, but the film adaptation is something else. Bold, risky, violent, and flat-out nutzo. Highly recommended.

Follow the poster to the trailer…


(Yeah. It’s kind of like this.)

The trailer…