Halloween movie lists always feature the same handful of films. They’re great. HALLOWEEN, THE EVIL DEAD, THE EXORCIST, THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE, and on and on and on. As far as horror goes, they’re pretty much the pinnacle. Most of them are my favorites, but there are tons of less popular fright flicks that deserve a spot within the scary canon.
In honor of the fastly approaching big day, I am proud to present three, unique recommendations (spread over three, unique blogs). If you’ve seen the films, great, find something else or watch one of the old standbys, but, if one of my choices has somehow passed you by, be sure to rent it for Halloween and see what you’ve been missing…
I’m a big Stuart Gordon fan. If you’re uncertain, Mr. Gordon is most famous for directing RE-ANIMATOR, a loose HP Lovecraft adaptation, with a wicked sense of humor and plenty of convincing gore gags. It’s as good as you’ve heard if not better (it nears the top spot on my list of all time favorites). The man has made plenty of other movies and though nothing can top RE-ANIMATOR, a few of them come close. Which brings us to my first, off-kilter, atmospheric, seasonal pick…
DAGON is another HP Lovecraft adaptation. Like RE-ANIMATOR it tweaks Lovecraft’s work so much that the only thing recognizable are some basic plot points. Also, like with RE-ANIMATOR, DAGON has a pitch, black streak of humor that off-sets the shocking horror and raises the madcap terror to levels of gleeful terror.
I’m not gonna SPOIL things here. I’m not even gonna break it down or deliver any sort of a review – going in cold, you’ll come out on the other end loving what you’ve experienced. Trust me.
So then, when it comes to old Gods, and demonic rituals, and reluctant heroes, DAGON nails it. Check out the killer poster, then the trailer, then go get yourself a copy!
Posted in Books, Movies, News on October 25, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
So, my latest writing project is a little goofy. It’s an adaptation of a screenplay I wrote for a movie currently in production. I guess, technically, it’s a novelization of a film, but since I’m writing both the source and the adapted work, the word novelization doesn’t really feel like the right word.
(These dudes are making the movie I wrote, soon to be a novel I wrote, right now!!!)
I always think of a novelization as a quick knock-off churned out by writers to make a quick buck. They go light on literary insight and generally stick to the script. Hired hands are not tied to the project in the same way a writer is devoted to his of her own material. I suppose that’s not really fair. There are some splendid novelizations out there. If somebody hired me to do one, I’d throw all I have into it. I’d try to find a way to connect to the material and give it my all. There’s no reason to think another writer wouldn’t feel the same. Maybe I need to read more novelizations.
I like to teach WEST SIDE STORY after finishing up Romeo & Juliet and we read from a novelization by this guy named Irving Shulman (he has a few original novels under his belt too). He does a nice job turning a musical into a straight-up gang drama, throwing in lots of flair, characterizing the mean streets, giving the characters little nuances not seen in the original source material.
(Like the play? Read the novelization. There’s no singing or dancing, but it’s still good!)
In my particular case, I plan on spicing things up. The movie should be cool (I like how the screenplay came out), but the book? Oh, the book will be grand. I’m gonna build upon everything I’ve all ready developed and make it as lyrically arresting as I possibly can. It’ll be a worthy companion to the film. It’ll be hard for me to pick a favorite, but as a general rule of thumb, the book is always better… With the folks working on ATHENA (the name of the book and film), I’ve got my work cut out for me though. They’re doing some wonderful things that may be hard to top!
Last night, I put the blog on pause and watched Kevin Smith’s latest, RED STATE. Here is how it all went down.
RED STATE is billed as horror and it is most definitely horrific, but I’d call it a thriller before I’d call it a horror movie. Either way, it’s a way solid film. It doesn’t really feel all that much like a Kevin Smith movie, but, well, it’s his work, so there you go.
(Things get freaky!)
Smith’s style is pretty cool. There are lots of flourishes. His characters have lots to say and they say it with a profane wit and wisdom. There’s a little caricature, but once the horror element kicks in, it really doesn’t matter. Folks die left and right. The movie begins to be more about the situation than the characters. It takes on a detached, documentary style. The end gets weird, but instead of going crazy (I might have liked that), explanations set everything right. It almost ruins the movie, but all that has come before is so strong…
RED STATE held me. I dug it. I was entranced by its weird, ramshackle editing, gory gunfights, and kooky preacher soliloquies. It’s a pretty scary film.
Posted in Movies, Rants, Raves on October 17, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
Like most genre-lovers, I dig bad, bad movies.
Not just bad movies – bad by itself doesn’t cut it – I’m talking bad, bad movies. I’m talking movies sooo bad that they somehow lap themselves and end up turning out pretty good. I’m talking about movies with a subversive undercurrent, movies that are bold enough to flaunt their badness. These movies know they are bad and generally don’t give a damn.
When it comes to devoting 90 minutes, I tend to prefer them.
My all-time favorite bad, bad movie is hand’s down, Jackie Kong’s BLOOD DINER (I’ve written several critical pieces on the film – the definitive article being an extensive essay published in Darkscribe’s gargantuan horror / slasher film anthology, BUTCHER KNIVES & BODY COUNTS). It’s a gleefully nutball blast of eighties gore. If you haven’t seen it, make it one of your goals. You might not enjoy it as much as I did as a deviant teen – most of these movies only work at a certain time and place in your life – but love it or leave it, it’ll definitely leave an impression.
It’s nowhere near as awesome as BLOOD DINER (it’s not even in the same oddball ballpark), but it surely qualifies as bad, bad, and in terms of leaving a lasting legacy, it will probably live on as an interesting genre oddity. Or maybe not. Maybe a cult will develop ala commercially failed Adam Sandler comedies (GRANDMA’S BOY, BUCKY LARSON) or maybe the movie will die away and just fade into bad, bad movie obscurity. It might go down as a bad, bad, bad movie (that third bad? It’s not a good thing).
It’s not a bad, bad movie in the traditional accidental sense. The filmmakers here are competent (I actually think they are more than competent – I think they are pretty exceptional – their resumes are loaded with great films). They set out to make a quirky comedy and have succeeded. Bad, bad isn’t really fair here, but with these guys and their low-brow predilections, I think they might appreciate the bad, bad distinction.
As far as bad, bad goes, low budget, indie horror, by its excessive nature, is more likely to produce the occasional twisted, little gem. Big-budget sword & sorcery epics rarely aim low. They usually shoot for the stars, then fail miserably, then disappear from the collective consciousness. Case closed. Other than Jackson’s LORD OF THE RINGS series, and Boorman’s artsy (commercial bomb) EXCALIBUR, I can’t think of too many other successful cornerstones. When sword & sorcery films go down, they go down hard (I’m looking at you CONAN 3D).
(Bad, bad good)
Repeated viewings generally don’t help, they just make the costumes look goofier and the sets all the more ridiculous. The action gets repetitive. Though medieval and purposefully dated, things look old. Man, as much as I love the genre in theory (I’m a sucker for fantasy novels), it’s a hard-sell. It’s tough to pull these things off (HBO’s GAME OF THRONES is up to the challenge).
With YOUR HIGHNESS, the creators of EASTBOUND & DOWN (David Gordon Green, Danny McBride, Ben Best), and their extreme, screwed-up sensibilities, thought it would be a funny idea to marry a sword & sorcery questing adventure with their profane, warped world-view.
Hmmm?
A sword & sorcery stoner comedy?
Okay.
I don’t know who green-lit this sucker (or why – the idea is usually to make money), but I’m glad they did. Bad, bad movies just got themselves another worthy piece of pop culture trash to add to the inexhaustible canon of sleaze and cheese.
I’m not in the mood to write-up a detailed review, besides, the less you know about this or that, the more likely you are to enjoy the movie, but I’ll give you a little to whet the appetite…
Danny McBride plays a slightly toned down version of Kenny Powers(if you know nothing about Kenny Powers get yourself to Google stat!). His Thadeous isn’t as deeply offensive as the coked-out, baseball has-been, but he comes pretty darn close. He’s still selfish, foul-mouthed, and rude. He still thinks the world owes him EVERYTHING. He still complains and talks loads of mess. He still thinks he’s God’s gift. And it still works (for me at least – as for the rest of the world? The film was universally reviled).
I love McBride’s prideful, a-hole / coward character. He was great in THE FOOT FIST WAY and legendary on EASTBOUND & DOWN (and especially effective in OBSERVE & REPORT where Seth Rogen did an excellent McBride impersonation playing a part clearly written for McBride). He keeps me smiling with his mullet and his obscenely cocky sense of self-entitlement.
(Kenny F—— Powers!)
James Franco mugs it up big time, playing his role (Thadeous’s golden boy brother, Fabious) completely straight, holding his luxuriant locks high, smiling a big hero’s smile, dashing and righteous as a Prince Charming styled champion. Franco chews the scenery with melodramatic relish, having way too much fun, channeling his soap opera chops to help him ham things up. He overacts perfectly.
(Keepin’ it real)
The movie itself follows Franco’s lead. It’s a ridiculous mess, but it plays all of the Dungeons & Dragons stuff on the nose. It’s not a wink-wink nod-nod satire – McBride’s character maybe, his mega-jerk is ridiculous in any context – but the rest of the movie takes its dumbass plot seriously (in which the boys must quest to save a virgin from a deranged warlock). Mixing wizards, and spells, and a fierce Minotaur (whose penis is the source of much hilarity), and ancient prophecies, it’s actually a serviceable fantasy.
Okay, let’s not get too carried away here – the splattery (the goofy gore effects are great) adventure never really amounts to much more than a series of scatological jokes (Green and company continually milk any plot points involving sex or genitalia), but I laughed, and smirked, and laughed, and guffawed, and laughed some more. I had fun (which is a whole lot more than I can say about most movies out there).
And that’s all that really matters. Bad, bad movies entertain first and work as art second (yes, Loyal Reader, even stoner comedies can be classified as art). YOUR HIGHNESS may not stir the soul (or come anywhere close to the soul), but that’s cool, that not its thing.
Sometimes, I’d rather just turn everything OFF and let a movie of this ilk settle over my brain, filling in sucking pockets of gray matter with the absurd, gassing me into submission, not unlike the pungent, illicit fog that surely deserves a screenwriting credit amongst its human conduits.
Posted in General, Movies on October 13, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
My work is done.
Not.
I ALWAYS have new work nibbling at the base of my brain.
I’ll start another project tomorrow (I gotta write a new novel), but at this very moment I am done with my screenwriting duties on the now-in-production ATHENA (like us on Facebook, please).
(An interesting still from ATHENA)
My first produced screenplay.
Sweet.
I’ve done a couple of shorts. Three by the same director, my homie, Robert W. Filion. He does good work and gets better and better with each new short he puts out. The three I wrote – CHEKHOV’S CHILDREN, DUMMY (no link), and THE PROMISE JAR are pretty cool little films.
But ATHENA? ATHENA is something special. It started as a short, thirty-minute film about one guy’s inability to get over his wife’s death and finds help from a brain-infesting little parasite. It was quirky, and kind of gross, and fun. Robert has been wanting to do a feature for sometime. He wants to get that career going (he’s got skills) so he figures the time is now. I’m with it. Let’s get our art out there. Let’s be heard.
Books are excellent. I love reading and writing them, and I love that the books I write are actually being read. Hundreds have taken the plunge, but my vision wants to haunt thousands, and hundreds of thousands, and more.
A feature has that potential.
(Magic, Loyal Reader, pure magic)
I knocked out two more segments in the ATHENA universe and wove them together with the original short. It jumps around and plays with time ala PULP FICTION. As much as the writer in me wanted to put in title cards with clever titles, breaking the film into chapters, and giving it a literary feel, boxing in sequences, I held off and kept it all visual.
When we transition between segments we simply fade, or wipe, or whatever, and then we let the story-line dictate time and place. It’s exciting.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about sound. I like musical cues – mini-refrains that can be used throughout the film to tie scenes to other scenes. Audio poetry. I love it. I love motifs.
Still, I gotta shut up. All of that stuff is Robert’s job. The writer has to let it go and hope the pages translate to the screen. I think this one is going to work. I think people are gonna dig it. It has a mass appeal to its horrific set pieces. There’s lots of blood, and limbs, and gore, but the in-between talking is funny and sometimes…insightful. Sometimes little nuggets of wisdom just spill out.
That’s the best part about screenwriting. Things have to move faster than in a novel and little sound bytes of poetry manage to creep their way in. If Robert’s actors can pull it off just right, this thing can take us places.
No. Of course not. I am one blog post behind schedule so I have to do this quick post to catch up.
My brother is visiting so I should get off the computer and hang out.
Here is a quick link back to an earlier blog that melted my heart into a pool of pure jelly. Presenting (again)…Sofia!!!
My wife and I went to see the cancer comedy 50/50. Seth Rogen is super enjoyable as the cool, best friend. He’s the funniest dude alive. The lead, the kid from 3rd Rock From The Sun (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), is good. I could relate to a lot of the stuff what with my own cancer experiences. The movie does a good job of conveying what it’s like. They don’t over do it or get too sentimental. Recommended!
So go see a movie with a loved one – whatever you’re doing, it’ll improve your mood.
Okay, go watch my niece’s video one more time. Listen to the way she enunciates and try not to smile your face in half.
(I’m glad I never shaved my head. Despite some gnarly treatment, my hair actually hung in there. It’s getting thicker and fuller as we speak, enhancing my devilishly good looks!)
Posted in General, Movies, News on September 29, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
Screenwriting is…different. I love writing novels and novellas. Man, I can flow. I can spin that magic, but a screenplay gets me going in a different way. There’s a different momentum and rhythm to the writing.
Right now I’m working on a screenplay that interlocks three, interconnected, but separate stories. They move out of order and I have to jumble timelines. Did Protagonist A do X before Protagonist B did Y?
Get it?
It’s kind of confusing.
But I got this. No worries.
But my brain?
Mush.
Pure mush.
I’ll pull myself from the muck soon enough. The end is in sight and it’s looking to be a doozey. The coolest part is my director / partner / filmmaker guru is shooting this thing in a matter of weeks. That means I gotta go and get back to work. After some food, my brain will be ready to crack the third act.
Posted in General, Movies, News on September 27, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
Spent the day in chemo undergoing nefarious transfusions. The ninja-style drug is slinking through my veins, cutting cancer cells to bits with lethal katanas and swift throwing stars.
It’s weird. After taking a three-week break, the chemo side-effects were positively screaming, but now that I’ve got a fresh infusion, I feel better. My body seems to need the chemo to stave off the agonizing symptoms of withdrawal.
(Uh-oh, trouble!)
My wife, Michelle, hasn’t missed a chemo appointment yet. We usually spend the six hours playing Scrabble, or talking, or simply enjoying one another’s silence. It’s really nice. I missed her tremendously. Oh well. Unfortunately, work kept her away today. My brother stepped up and helped out. He took me in, got me settled, then went off to do errands before coming back to get me and take me back home (Thanks, Ronnie!).
I kept busy with the good, ol’ iPad2. I read some interesting articles, perused Facebook stuff, searched apps, searched for the best iPad games, played some games, and watched the first few minutes of a few movies on Netflix (WEIRD SCIENCE and the opening of a Russell Brand comedy special). When I got sleepy, I put the iPad to bed and then took a nice nap. All-in-all it wasn’t too bad a day.
(“From my heart and from my hands, why don’t people understand, my creation?”)
Since the chemo actually made me feel better, I actually worked up an actual appetite for destruction.
Michelle and I concluded upon Shakey’s for some Mojos and Pizza.
I am still way full. The food was too delicious.
And that’s it, Loyal Reader – a day filled with medical imprisonment, druggy acclimation, and saucy deliciousness!
Posted in Books, General, Movies on September 10, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
What? No comments on BUCKY LARSON? I thought yesterday’s post was going to blow up the ENTIRE Internet and LARSON would go on to outmatch AVATAR’s box office records!
Kidding, kidding.
And it’s all good because I LOVE me some AVATAR. That movie, for all of its cheesy clichés, rules.
(The major reason AVATAR is great. Alas, one of the many reasons why CONAN was not so great…)
Still, IMHO, LARSON is going to make far less than it deserves. Or maybe not. Usually Sandler’s off-shoots, you know, the projects he gives to his friends, tank pretty hard and then end up making a killing on video, achieving some sort of cult status. They’re watched by party people forever and ever. It’s not such a bad fate for a movie. Ten years from now, some goober will giggle and ask you or someone you know, “Ever seen, Bucky Larson? Oh, man, it’s so awesome…he, he, he, ha, he, he…” (or however them stoner-types laugh it up).
Not much else going in blah-blah land tonight, Loyal Reader. I could write-up some more literary analysis (on my work or someone else’s) or talk music, or movies, but then, I’m off to a late start and I’m more in the mind to chill out than hammer away at the keyboard.
But I gotta give you something…
Hmmm…
Oh!
Wait!
I got it!
(Yay!)
Good news on the short fiction front, Loyal Reader! The weird / creepy story I wrote for that invite anthology made the cut! Yep! Mr. Editor Man let me know yesterday. The Sad, Not-So-Sad, Ballad of Goat Head Jean, Ambivalent Devil Queen has officially been accepted and will see publication soon. When the details go up, I’ll provide the proper linkage. I’m sharing a TOC with Graham Masterton and John Shirley (among others), so regardless of how my story is received, the book should rock.
BTW, the anthology is called ZIPPERED FLESH (no links just yet). Catchy, huh? The unsettling theme is body augmentation gone wrong. Goat Head Jean tackles breast implants (the most obvious of subjects, right?), but takes things in wholly unexpected directions. I’m satisfied with how the overall story came out and I can’t wait to see what y’all think. I was going for pure, unadulterated mortification, so if the piece has you holding your hand over your mouth and crinkling your brow in…well…mortifying horror, I’ve done my job. Maybe I’ll read it aloud at Killercon 3 (soon!).
(Be there or be…square!)
Speaking of which… My new novella 7BRAINS is officially launching at Killercon 3. Burning Effigy is throwing a party in honor of their new releases and I am among the honored! Cool! I can’t say much more about the book until then, but never fear, you’ll hear plenty about crushingloss and devouring brains and The New Evolution soon enough. Burning Effigy does inexpensive (beautifully crafted) chapbooks, so this one won’t break the bank either. When the time come to order it, hell, order two and give one to someone you hate (or love).
Posted in General, Movies, Raves on September 9, 2011 by Michael Louis Calvillo
It begins with a gloriously ridiculous sight gag – a farmer-type spreads peanut butter on his junk and then invites a petting zoo’s worth of goats to nibble away. The man’s obscene mug, a toothy display of cheese, mugs, and mugs, and mugs. Around the sixty-minute mark, the dumbassyness of the comedy wears thin, but the first forty-five minutes are delirious fun.
The comedy is of the distinct, Happy Madison brand. BUCKY LARSON: BORN TO BE A STAR is a worthy addition to the Sandler & friends canon of inane, lazy comedies. The jokes are loose and dirty. A well tanned Don Johnson plays an adult film director named Miles Deep. Stephen Dorff is superstar and arrogant rival, Dick Shadow. His insane character once saw a shadow of his well-endowed body on a mountain side and then had an epiphany. The rude stage name arose from the experience.
Comedy superstars cameo and keep it sleazy. Kevin Nealon is strange (and strange-funny) as a foul-mouthed roommate.
(Oh boy, here we go…)
These movies – the Happy Madison overture – are the stupidest things on earth, but I love them. Millions and most film critics hate them. But then, millions of other folks, and most of my friends, dig the puerile potty humor. We see the forest through the trees, Loyal Reader. This crap is absurd. But it’s supposed to be absurd. It’s joyfully, unabashedly absurd.
Bucky Larson is a mid-westerner with huge buck teeth (the butt of many, many, many jokes) and a Dutch boy haircut. The blissfully oblivious character moves from a small town to LA after he discovers his parents starred in adult films. He thinks it’s his destiny to follow in their footsteps. Much ridiculous drama ensues.
I think I’ve used the word ridiculous a zillion times in this write-up. When talking Happy Madison, it’s the first word that comes to mind.
(Subtlety isn’t really his thing)
Anyway, artistically, there’s not much to discuss. Happy Madison plots are contrived, messy jumbles. The movies are barely directed (sorry directors), and some of them, a few more than others, are so slapdash lackadaisical that they are almost unwatchable. Almost. For when that idiot humor fires, and I’m doubled over, gasping for air, I can’t help but to give credit where credit is due. When can I laugh like that? When was the last time something uproariously sublime had you rolling on the floor? One scene in BUCKY LARSON had me laughing so hard that tears streamed down my cheeks. It’s that funny.
Swardson brings it. He plays the character…well…like a character, but he’s fun and he’s funny. His O face is priceless. Christina Ricci plays nervous and nice as Bucky’s girlfriend. She does what is required over her and little more.
Like all great art, risks must be taken in the film making process. Some of Happy Madison’s shabby charm is in the way scenes are rammed together, ending abruptly, one sequence after another rubbing shoulders in odd cuts and messy jumps in time / cohesive narrative flow. Sometimes things are just weird.
Sometimes their sitcomish stories stretch credulity to the absolute limit. I don’t know what it is, but Sandler and company have the touch. They get me laughing which isn’t always easy to do. Sometimes they hit below the belt, going for the easy win with poop jokes. We roll our eyes and shake our heads and giggle at the foolishness of it all. Magic.
(An Empire of Dunces)
LARSON uses all of the same troupes every Happy Madison film uses. Let’s see, Loyal Reader…I think most of you are among the hundreds of millions of people who catch these films at the movies or on video. I’m going to assume you’ve seen THE WATERBOY, HAPPY GILMORE, GRANDMA’S BOY, and maybe, even, last year’s JUST GO WITH IT.
All four movies are retarded with a capital R. They are profane but sweet. They feature wild, unfocused direction and sitcom quality narratives. They are compulsively watchable. Supporting characters are outlandish. The ridiculous of it all is shared between the audience and the filmmakers. We know that they know that their films are goofy and in the end everybody’s needs are being met.
(Chimps and video games. These are a few of my favorite things…)
Some might argue that two of the four films are inept and worthless (many critics have slammed GRANDMA’S BOY and JUST GO WITH IT – THE WATERBOY and HAPPY GILMORE on the other hand actually have a bit more cred. Some critics like those two). I think they all have their golden moments.
GRANDMA’S BOY has Nick Swardson’s kid-car bed and I laughed out loud when he called his parents his ‘Roommates.’ It’s also got a great, uncomfortable scene involving a bathroom and an action figure (watch and understand).
JUST GO WITH IT has Dave Matthews picking up a large coconut with his butt cheeks and a classic little vignette featuring a kid wilding out in a Chuck E. Cheese parking lot. Hopped up on sugar, the wild kid runs away from his mom and then throws a soda at her in slow motion. Awesome.
THE WATER BOY and HAPPY GILMORE are so iconic and entrenched in popular culture that I don’t have to bother pointing out the highlights. Both films are extremely likable. Their subplots – the love interest stuff and other bits of things disconnected from the momentum of the A story – are more endearing. Sandler pulls off a couple of great leads. HAPPY GILMORE has him in Chevy Chase FLETCH / CADDYSHACK mode, witty and rude, but charming and charismatic. Endearing, right?
And who can forget THE WATERBOY? Sandler played the whole thing straight. Not Bobby Boucher’sridiculous voice, and hair, and brain, but his world-view. The character is a goof, but he’s a sweet goof who believes in doing the right thing. He’s truly nice and his high-pitched stammer makes me smile from ear to ear.
(My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush.)
So then, give into the idiocy and give BUCKY LARSON a chance. It’s a nice showcase for Swardson. It’s super stupid, but if you go in expecting as much, you’ll discover another Happy Madison confection – sugary sweet, slightly rancid, but as light and airy as a whisp of cotton candy.
Michael Louis Calvillo Must Be Destroyed 